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Shards: The Allison Moore Story

Aug 17, 2014|

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It's. Foremost the action as a whole group. Have -- it's good to see you on Sunday. Sunday and it hasn't rained yet to do that I've seen. And it was must be a terrible thing so we didn't beat it and -- it's news and let people that apparently -- Which explains wind chills that yes he she stuck in traffic from the beach yes. And I were doing their children -- a couple of guests on the show. We're going to be speaking with Nelson more of a young voice cup. From Mali who became addicted to methamphetamine. The very drugs she was working to give up the streets through new book. It's called shards a young voice cup investigates. Her darkest case of meth addiction her own. So join us on the phone from Los Angeles a little later on the book is intense. Really intense round under and in a sense -- really interest -- me. Really interesting read and and you know we we we talk a lot of first responders and addiction issues and you know they have a different set of stretchers and and a different set of acceptance and accesses wells and we're gonna who wouldn't be discussing that with Nelson more. A first we have to recognize the passing of one of the greatest comedians of our time reverend Williams. Died last week at the age of 63. Fantastic actor he was you know nominated for a few Academy Awards in the one best supporting actor for Good Will Hunting. That was -- you know the ability for him to get into those really really sad people. CNN news is beautiful views and used an incredible actor I had the opportunity to see him perform. As a surprise show. At the comedy connection. Seven years back and I've never seen anything like that. And just to see that but there is this intersection. Mental health or mental illness and creativity that we like to talk about. But there's also the factor in the depression the -- suffered from his whole life. Well and in the addiction which was part of his history and use so help with that and so open -- it. And you know I'm married to various shows we have like 783 glasses of the art classes of liner and trying to explain it it's not a. Some. Welcome to talk with us about that. Is our good friend Jimmy Tingle. Calling in Jimmy's Boston based comedian one of our favorite comedians. He's been a friend of returns for a long time. And he did really interest in. Interviewers. Thing on WGBH. -- On the radio that I inflows we both thought it was really great so Jimmie welcome to return radio again. Probably our children today. That's a little brighter for UB and you -- -- that won't let me know this is John this is John. The answer that Hansen won. The -- I think that. Our guide isn't you do. Lately you had to say in violates what you said and you know the radio but I I just. How how has it been for you and what have you seen then -- -- since Robin. He killed himself. Well. Well it happened obviously. I mean nobody could believe it there was. It's such a devastating. I mean it's terrible to hear anybody say you know -- and then to die -- their -- hand because. Incredibly. Incredibly traumatic there's the image is that is that. That thing and you know we would obviously devastated I was not of personal friend of Robin. Com what we have many mutual friends -- most of the comments in San Francisco. That's where he did most of the comic emphasis -- LA wings got no back in the eighties and you know many we have many mutual acquaintances and friends and down they were you know obviously very devastated. It was a family. And -- -- -- -- terrible on both important is that thing and I tried to make this point in who why lovable what you're doing what's right turn. If -- reaching out to people and given people permission to get help and you're trying to explain to people. That it did it if people are suffering from substance abuse draw. Whatever mental illness but depression you know whatever it is never now right now within health care. Legislation has passed it's never been easier. And help has never been more accessible to more people than and is now so if people have the willingness. If they have the willingness. To pick up the phone and call. You know whether the substance abuse facility whatever the local twelve step programs whether the local hospital. You can call places and you can get help the only ingredient that you absolutely have to have his willingness and even. And if you have that and you stick with that you can get better and there's meant to you know do it. There's alcohol there available and not -- a lovable what you're doing what's right -- because. And the point that was trying to make of -- Robin Bradley. Person that famous so well known in the movies welfare behind stomp on Hollywood boulevard that suffers from. Substance abuse and depression is millions of people who suffered in relative obscurity. And they don't have to and they don't have to and then they're not famous and they may never may never will be famous but that doesn't matter what matters is. That you -- important you won't family he won't community you're home you own network of people -- -- them. And you where we have employees or maybe -- the employer the employee. Here are important and everybody -- Madison and that that the take away if there's anything that comes out of it that's positive. If that does -- heightened sense of awareness about the did the human condition and depression and substance abuse and the mental illness that many many people. I challenged -- Well I'm really impressed by how many people. It's you sign it as a good way to talk about the so few people there are some notable ones but so few people spoke about. You know house itself distances or anything like that because I think they somehow by a watching him over the years. They so the pain in him. And they knew -- they knew he had everything and if he even he wasn't able to manage than maybe it wasn't. A bad thing you know and he wasn't. Mean thing to do your family may. Well -- how would they have. I would -- sick rather than contain myself I think is that it is unknown if there and I don't wanna just supplies or GI Joseph whatever I'm just saying that. He was obviously very sick and sick people do things that we can't really explain it. You know and so and that's what we're trying to I know that's -- right turn this trying to do he's trying to address people and you're trying to. I addressed the -- All. Of addiction because when we look at it from the illness. Now look at it. People at a bad time doing that people who consider people. Right that's right and there's a stigma stigmatization. Of mental illness in this country and everywhere in the world. Prom and we know Jimmy's. A lot of addiction comes out of that is the theory of self medication in other words. And Robyn talked about it too you know in his lifetime is that. People Medicaid. Mental enormously medicate depression in Medicare and anxiety. -- and there is the shame and guilt about coming forward and getting real treatment for whether that's you know just to address it. Even among your family. Seems difficult for a lot of people so the fact that it is you know and I'm reminded of Philip Seymour Hoffman's -- is that it's opening up this conversation and and and it's opening up you know people who normally don't deal with the stuff. To begin to talk about depression and American talk about mental health and substance abuse and and that normalize that and maybe will be able to you know have a as a conversation. And taken you know out of the jails and all that and begin to. Treat people better. I agree on under the time opinion you write that one of the the consequences of these high profile cases it does start the conversation. That that. You know that a positive development out of it. But it's got to be more upon upon normal way of thinking about things it's easy if you have. You know whatever kind of disease -- effective -- you know whatever. If you have kidney failure law. Pancreatic cancer or. The epilepsy whatever else you get treatment for it to the extent possible on the same thing with mental health issues depression. And substance abuse which is another thing that we fortunately live in the country that we have the technology we have the expertise. And we have the ability to treat people until that it's a huge huge step forward in this in the addressed in this issue. Well thank you for your thoughts on this Jimmy. What can we look forward. Free view in the future what he would you work around these days. Well I'll probably. Go to the -- homes. That's our little islands. Engages them spacecraft's. I don't know I'm gonna keep working and writing and I have to tell you I watched Robin Williams the other night. On Charlie Rose and have been a comical the thirty years and men writer and elect -- and Charlie Rose the other night in Charlie Rose said he sat down with him many times over the last 2530 years. And you're right it is table one on PBS. And he just had highlights all these shows and all the conversations. He had with Robin Williams. And he was always interviewing about something -- never wanted to do. Coal performance but if you haven't commented if you looked at what he did he would sit down he would add to that question seriously. And then neagle walk in the character and you had Charlie Rose just laughing and laughing. And it was so beautiful because -- doing his bit and he's hilarious. And then come back and talk seriously about it comedy -- stand up -- news. Is. Puppet or you know whatever will be you know do of this substance abuse so -- whatever was. -- -- we're gonna mess that above and Jimmy and we got to go to commercial but I I really appreciate you taking the time on talking about revenue and and you're listening to rate turned radio on WR to succeed the AM. Contingent. And. -- Welcome back on John we'll hand you have to be in the future return radio. It was great for Jimmie can you lose. It was great to talk him love Jimmy and and he brought some good points I wanted to mention. A couple numbers for people and if -- if they're depressed at the thinking about taking their lives. Samaritans is agree. Resource for folks the samaritan statewide help line numbers 877. The 704673. And of course the veterans crisis line for. The men and women in the service in this country is 802738255. Warts and we will post them we're we're gonna post them on returns FaceBook page. Tonight. We're going to be talking. With -- Allison Moore who's the former narcotics officer from. The Molly police department she work place there she's a native of New Mexico. She served one year sentence. In federal detention center in Honolulu for drug related felonies she's gonna tell us how she went. From star of her recruiting class in the -- police department. Two. Her journey through the world. Of the place and then with with the methamphetamine addiction and then her fall and her coming back after that. Allison -- welcome to return radio. Hate you so much. -- united Boof. Well let a book and -- -- if you feel -- You know that it took it must have been a painful. -- at times for uterine. Keep doing it it was people. I'm not sure you know. You're writing of the book I would creature. Like. It said that -- if we're to talk about it's actually much to talk about it ego -- I decided I would think you know. Andy see how. You know regardless so. What kind of outcome. I think it's really wanted to silently like it and you know I I. At. Age eight -- -- times are still Al. And I love that Eric is talking about it -- I hit it. You don't -- it help people understand. -- in in this -- glamour and -- I'm interested to know. You know how the idea. To write a book after this incredibly traumatic experience. Journey that you. What was the impetus for you to -- the book. Will it actually confront her about. I'm really close to its web site and it's. She went college. Yet he which. Might co writer. And her. When I went on trial my aunt which she got her friend and so that it -- it's about all realize. It change. The report -- and -- Has kind of been -- from K okay. He termed. A walk my actor Kirk. And hearing about it I'll go through third party at this time. -- and yet you well writers still. When I was concrete trials -- yet he approached about the book. It was here I guess the last thing I want to talk about it. You know I just aren't. -- quite happily and it's trying to. Figure out how -- as. But where I was highlight. For me but I hit the current and and she. It is in that this could help people you know it added that although my story's creepy at all. That there are other people are similar situation. They -- it -- TV. It's telling a story that helped -- and -- can get. To go for the book. So let's just give a little background to the audience who's listening your. You know. Young lady from. The New Mexico Albuquerque. You moved to Hawaii. And you decided to from become a recruit you know you test into the the police department and you've become. Kind of a star recruit isn't that true. -- It -- in his you know I was urged. -- -- -- is workaholic. Will -- -- I don't know if I would such as a starter true as more than. Willing to sacrifice to work as hard as they try -- So if you're there you're giving set up. And in the book you talk. About. Think it's -- the first time you did a race. All right on page -- And could you set that this excerpt up a little bit. He sure at this. This is that. The first time I tried I. Eighteen roundabout way I was right so let I leave -- there. A stir up trouble kind of explain to people why I tried it other than I was just aren't. Workaholic so I think working anymore and with this series and happy life I turns to get stretched to its. -- you're really really sad that signing this the feeling was that things just weren't feeling good. Exactly. You know -- Access and are there it had it heroin or cocaine or any other kind of narcotic. I would say it questions it asks -- it -- lead to eight. The healing that I was Yury. Go out like all of us X ego. Is that all kind of army after workable or working any more. So here's -- more reading. An excerpt from her book -- words. On return radio. But they're a pain subsided and -- this feeling. The past. Each and I could taste and Courtney -- back of my throat. But he emerged. Bitter strong almost an hour but I'll play. My job and -- clintons. I -- the water and I felt. Here -- But it's geared which holds the release of the water from my -- that -- and patient occurring ever felt. Always -- -- -- -- a feeling that was all that was all right so. Cathy rush about the jitters. -- -- even without control. Your first without a heartbreak. Certainly can feel the -- our topic at an inherent bias and it adds there. -- -- -- What do I wanted to hurt or clean over wash my card go to the spirit the only possibility. I can bake something for you -- you learned about all I can do anything I -- street is not tax system where. You're like check or I should I go shopping notably her that is incredible to comment on mr. That you -- nothing. Yes I held onto that clean adequate I want I want to clean -- her apartment. That's what I want. Yeah it was such it interpret this and that. And you know week to week we see people who. Common you know mathematics that come in. And -- -- really asking them to give up a lot this is the -- you know by all accounts the greatest. They remember in my world again they ever get that first one back with that. The you know so it's this incredible. And for somebody who is that it sounds like you were pretty. The pretty high achiever in line for that was your kind of your in your mask. It's sounds like it was the perfect drug for you to the kind of latch onto. Unfortunately he can't lie and you know. It. For immediate break her -- I extend -- Kuwait. Our. Team has built or Reagan or lack. We're listening to rate turned radio on WR to succeed see them will be back. With author -- more right after the break. John Cook and you look at the news and has raised certainly -- We're talking to author Ellison were above her new book shirts. Allison was a young voice cut in Mali who became addicted to -- the very -- she was working to get off the streets. From the book it is scary. It's eye opening is the describes kind of perfectly. The descent into the act of addiction. Well. So -- she is bouncing you just read this is beautiful part about how he was -- it was meeting every single one of your needs he had thirty senses. And then what happens. Describes a little of the plummet. Is this pretty relaxed. On that -- it extremely. -- -- -- if her Meade despite my extreme. -- -- -- -- -- I had my addiction and it -- you down pretty hard and fast. And you know. They're part of its peak. Are people that -- for -- to -- I shall we had. I was lucky. What accounts for. To go out into. So while you're going into prone you are an act of -- police officer in Mali. How are you able to balance these two things. -- -- Don't expect a pretty good. I workaholic team to play it because it. And that it. Struggle. I hit it. Teacher -- college. I leave I that I can work harder longer faster harder and of course it although that's -- policy. -- It's still. I think -- monitors -- -- -- in order and now it's here. -- -- -- color contacts to hype aside -- peoples. To query. And ultimately. I lie my eyes and also. Hurt. Not just the people I love watching my Brothers and it apart and tired. Now you brought up the lies and and -- you describe them really well in your. And your book did you read. The part where you're talking about that. Sure her. -- he entered the age twenty. It was going to take -- -- I buy time. 1 morning sergeant Wilkes college since it through about this and more strokes should they look like you're -- Ernie chat here. That question is is -- but it you Ryan had. Already knew that I expected I have. -- I got cancer that's where and so. -- who. Since November. -- it obviously. It only going to tell what he acts I honestly did. It's like. Idol I compete this thing I don't know what -- Jeter there's -- -- at the park -- therefore you look at that. Idol and all -- ask for help it by it but for current OK I just don't mortgage but internal please don't -- Children are concerned. We're Brothers. I don't know what kind of cancer is well. What. She searched for their ordered. Parker said. -- period and at Procter and his very long term and find out where it I get to. As they own or her current. -- utterly and I just can't at this point I would -- -- -- -- its eyes and well -- happened there the comment that without an error. I bet. If it hadn't been killed it in other Collie a lot. You know that that is summed it up. Lets you know -- so there is whom you know we understand because we're in the field I think about. How this this kind of thing happens but there's listeners that are wondering how you're -- some America. I'm very nimble hands me a reasonable human being. What is it about methamphetamine. That could turn this this person this kind of high functioning soccer -- soccer -- police officer. And answer to how did what is it about methamphetamine. Does that. Makes you lose everything like that and will allow that kind of behavior to happen. William Buford each person. -- Are invincible. Are at. -- the team. -- at it -- fact it. And -- Ernie a credit you'd like. Like tight they kind of person. In a way it's. I thought he -- Jeter would it curb which is the old truck at our. -- in part to expertly. More port. Did trip after a while. IPod -- -- -- typical reaction -- was just the perfect to our. And there was any I would. Ultimately. Make it a step of people say. You -- have been done -- well I don't have a lot of chat last -- Because that interprets go to prior bulk of. A you know I'm wondering what it as a first responder and then to. You know and in them how we police department. Was there a culture that. Think certainly if somebody did have a substance abuse problem wouldn't have been. -- has you know I've been kind of hijacked but I. But the substance wanted to be an easy for you to step forward had you seen other officers stepped forward and say have a problem might need help or. Was that kind of not talked about. He's doing it's it's stream in our. First responders. I know first responders all over the country and apparently and it worked hard here allows for an open door policy. And really -- shall help their officers. But there's still this state and that. Like that tarnished. Here acts you don't there's so much year ago it's a high. Any kind of sign we can't hurt it and -- And it's really fat and it's there it's completely unnecessary. And -- -- quite frankly. -- so. Uncontrollably. Strong her in in the worst way that you can get I had. The -- open court I I probably. Well that whole thing about the relying. You know I'm not all the things he said was to -- he has said that about your addiction. I'm handling you know I don't need to share this with any ready you know at the Steffi told your supervisors sent. I mean so it's. It and did other people in the department get caught while you learn I mean you wrote about land to what was and -- -- it people say about them and then that kind. You know England. Heard it was a -- One gentleman gave it -- -- That your parents. Are. What the sun kind of -- to -- in our speaker. -- -- Is it issued to talk about it and there was a little bit talk about disappointed at how each -- and the that was about an ego -- -- there or roll in car. -- Still it it is pretty. Pretty cold and. So calm. Pretty brave move. Writing this telling the stories it's. You know that the strength. Kind of the inner strength that carried you through him in the next segment we're gonna address some of the horrible trauma that you experience split but also the recovery recovery which is the important part of this in the hope. But just you know that the strength that it takes something to live through the and rain about it and write about it you know is is. It's pretty evident. And and also when we come back we're gonna talk a little bit of vote just you know your life growing up and the idea that. Even though you came from addiction. There was never addressed in the in the family and and how that happens and and sometimes helps. Helps people. Get sicker and sicker before they get any help you listening to rate turned radio will be back right after the break. -- Until you're with do you listen. Director of radio tonight we're speaking. With Ellison war. About her new book shards young -- -- investigates her darkest caves of mass and that's a mouthful. Her darkest piece of meth addiction her own she's joining us on the phone from Los Angeles. Hi Alison. So I -- things you utes and when acting Escude in great T town but. You went through incredible trauma. And abuse and just horrible horrible abuse at the hands of your quote unquote dealers in Seattle. And you finally. Between your mom and finding yourself I'm able to get away. But one of the things that happened is you were traumatize and you didn't even know. And can you kind of explain how that affected your -- first diet recovery and how you Penn State dealing with. US arm. Parents. It's cool you know. It really -- It. So if it's a great question because it shouldn't happen to a lot of people stance on women. The great country. I had -- -- -- finally got to do the trick right most of the chemicals out of my sister is to -- are. Of course it's expert -- for quite awhile but I he had during -- flashback. Regular power -- I thought it was going tree you know I thought that I have tried a great you know I. So many different the -- it now what lies and of course I care about. -- For a war. Or combat -- Like that but I ever. Facility. And I get. That I had. Earned. So with the theory it would be very difficult time Jerry recovery. And Belichick said in a sense of -- Leo it's you would see him you'd think he was there. He'd think I mean it is so you I mean you're convinced he was there and you're Aniston really -- It won't eat -- alive I thought. About what would reality. Because I had flashbacks where he'll hit it. And okay at saint. Eagles still. It would it would get very typical earnings at a luckily. I had to -- counselor. Are able to figure out -- ethical -- What works for you to address the trauma. What what sort rules if you have you gotten. You know it's it's still too long costs are just lake. Recovery. Got hacked but that kind of addiction but text book but. The recovery -- If you are. -- -- What they are successfully. But you are. What it is short it's basically. -- it I. It's. The kid that urge you. That ignorance. And the action -- -- -- How is this theory is it's supposed to kind of diffuse. Impact that those flashbacks. For me you know it probably T frequency you were grainy and break out but if you -- -- a without. Complete order Carol. -- puts -- in a different part of your brain from an understatement and it yeah but doesn't really nice explanation that. Well what's what's the impact of the book have been have you spoken to other first responders. Other channels there -- survivors. How long has this been received. She drew it -- -- -- bit. -- -- I would -- owed her side but that he. Release are. -- At around the park just a so public apparel or people on that I get all the county people and it hurt. You all every hour. But at the open door for -- and eating first responders. A needy people. I -- Like a lot of that makes it a lot of people repeat as he and -- I -- -- crowds and so I. -- god for Arab Craig -- You know finding the right where should be in reaching out our way -- so it's big and it had incredible. -- herbs to kind of preacher out here recovery community. And all so girl. In turn -- it's so. It's been -- mean. So hot and you have and done. Have you been able to start -- any other relationships. No I have. You know taking your stats are -- are very. You know it's -- it's it's. It's really difficult. I have reached out and eagle -- -- a lot of people who aren't ready yet and I can see it acts are you know. So I. You don't you are the ultimate goal and with this book that is definitely one -- -- Ego. They could -- of people that have hurt. Can you tell us about catch a falling star Alison. Because some of the proceeds are going to that -- Right of course approved either going to catch it on her which is an eating charity or learned IDR. And what he -- it and they -- first responders and explorer. The find help -- and they're suffering and you don't pay any attention to yet. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Kept referring -- are really all I. Aren't they all of a tree and -- expert -- -- -- it. It's two degree -- -- way through our ports and it kind of find their way to the particular -- hopeful. That something I'd still. -- That's so wonderful kind of beginning of an immense rate there thousand more thank you so much. For being on rate through radio Alison -- new book is called shards. A young voice company investigates her -- case of meth addiction her own. Thank you so much else -- for being on return radio. And thanks for sharing and thanks for sharing your story I think you know I want everybody. To read it because what you can actually see is. People. That it can happen anybody. -- so thank you -- Thanks Ellison. Great show the exit and -- -- community we've. You know but this is a story that needs to be told we see first responders -- returned. And they do have a particular. You know even just seeking treatment they have a problem some times it's getting better we know people in the field that are helping in. And you know blue its its two that the school culture to be in if you're suffering from some stuff right. So -- that that and I wanna talk about rate term. Great gesture and or his or web site and wanna talk about her FaceBook page rate through like us. You'll hear all about what's going on right -- every Saturday night and return to 99 Broadway in Arlington is live music. You can check out our website to see what's on there. I want to thank our. Engineer and Sweeney. -- -- The vast I want to thank our producer. Who did make it who didn't make it all the way from Maine. -- to be I -- mention that we have podcast posted on iTunes. If you if you look for right through and review -- process there. I don't wanna make sure that everybody knows that we're on every week at 6 o'clock and that we are you. And every. Be safe and really really really yes.