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What would you regret if you died today?

Apr 10, 2012|

A nurse has published a book about the most common regrets she heard during her career as a nurse from people minutes away from death.

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Good morning -- -- -- show brought to my network capital funding corporation your future financing. This is very interest -- A woman whose job it is. We caught -- palliative nurse. That means palliative means not doing anything to. Change your condition just making you feel better right. Pat hell -- of nurse who is -- friend. A couple big -- but but but but but but not that kind of make you feel better cooks. That's good a palliative nurse who has counseled the dying in their last two days has -- repeal the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives and among the top. From many in particular. What do you think men regret the most not having -- sacks. That's what everybody thought would be number one it's not up so which it may -- she's lying I'm -- and trust one person. She says actually that's number two but those numbers don't really know until the aftermath no no not the sex thing I know the sex doesn't make it to the top five I don't think. -- -- the top five things well here's the top one -- this from both genders mail yeah yeah idea but I wish I'd had the courage to live a life Trudeau myself. Not the lives others expected of me that is the number one regret. Expressed according to this nurse. From her book the top five regrets of the -- I wish I'd been true to myself. The I I think it's essential to the human experience that we -- -- -- is -- and that's and that's one of societies big struggles. Which we don't articulate very often. That week that -- the nature society is that in order to maintain a culture you try to force. People through bullying or intimidation or more subtle forms of group influence. We try to force people we have a certain way because. If you don't all behave. In some sort of system of shared values you don't have a society and Iraq and hold the thing the other. It's one of the ironies of the experts physicist natural conflict between those -- into what's best for an individual on what's best for the group. So there's number one people wished. Laying on their deathbed that they'd been more true to their selves. What is the thing the your. Not. Living true to. Question for yourself -- true. Regret I wish I hadn't worked so hard this of course. Comes from men she says this came from every male patient I nursed they missed their children's youth. In their -- companionship women also spoke of this regrets but as most were from an older generation. Many of the female patients have not been the breadwinners. All of the men nine nursed deeply regretted. Spending so much of their lives on the treadmill -- existence. 6172666. Seats succeed is that what you feel about your own life what are you what are you missing out on. What will you be laying there on your deathbed saying to the nurse. About what you wish you had done differently. A little group discussion here we can learn some valuable lessons six. One sounds like populace to like what you want a good idea for you guys the bucket list with a that was a book right the bucket list is noticed all might remember as a movie -- Jack Nicholson. Morgan Freeman. So the idea was you make a list of the things that you wanna do before you die you you make an advanced plan tool void having your regrets when you get to the end of the line. And that's the beauty of the vocalists and that's why people find it inspiring because -- -- there is say yum. The effect of daily life is to drown vote. You or inner voice. And select the voice of the outside world control you. So there's number one into our wish I had the courage to live true to myself I wish I had worked so hard number two. I wish I'd had the courage to express my Felix. He's got a big dial. What do they mean express their feelings tell their -- they wanted to divorce or something. Well that would be number one wouldn't it make me happier. I wish I thought I wish I'd have the courage love life true to myself. Would be number one so that would be divorce or you know be a different religion or don't to be. Don't stay in the stars stage -- different sects like -- exactly yeah I have never met anybody who works on Wall Street. -- have a conversation -- Who doesn't wish they were out of the business and everybody I talked to in the ER says I'm gonna do it for ten years on -- make a bundle of money and I'm gonna get out. And then I'm gonna do what I want and they never do after ten years because at ten years or start to make big money. And they've trapped themselves -- -- sour the spending more war than American anyway. 6172666860. Lira NW RQ good morning TO. Morning -- ever regret yeah it's so. But I don't have a good one -- -- right. Now that is a regretful fine. Is this very so so this is too serious is every -- Go straight but they don't want to ask ask your question. Do you think preachers preached to get their work process someone or they think deep preached. To tell people that are listening torme. What they wanna hear what the people. Are listening to want it in morning. Both are possibilities or it could be just with the preacher wants to say. I think I think it's she's creeps into long. Because he knows what they want it here. Why I think he I think you're right in that he's trying to manipulate them. -- so he's trying to trap them by making them victims just like the political system to us. He engages them and keeps them pulled close give a populist. Know. Come on everyone has far I haven't really thought about that slain. I love what I am doing I love my life. -- one thing in the entire world they wish you could do for you all we are directly I was fortunate we didn't give me -- related to work that's that's lane capacity -- I was wish and or weaker arms wish I was winning that -- -- commit militants a I'd love to be filthy -- -- new Bob good morning you're -- WRKO. What's up Bob -- -- good thanks of the call. They would then I am I have to play let's say look guys worked my whole life that the Paper wrote it eight years old how old you now. It's going to be fifty this year okay. And I've accumulated. -- the book well aware of probably close to 2.3 million dollars so yeah that's cash -- you mean soleil. That's the network okay. Now that's being set. One of the greatest things that first generation well as the deal way towards their plan. It's breaking the habit that gets them there. And that is why when you had worked in the Wall Street these guys get a taste of it yup they get the money and they can't break their Abbott's so what happens is they work themselves right to death and that's what I'd struggle with. You know now that I'm approaching you know 55 years old and say to myself you know I gonna cut back my friend the sale look at -- to get yourself killed that you get. Caught up that his addiction could get it's sort of place you want -- Yeah and and that's also placed a high due to comfort zone and comfort zones protect you from. Being in discomfort zones. Exactly tied you know and now my struggle with this all the time one saying I always try to remember bell Judy Garland had a great saying. Better to be first straight virtually itself for the second rate version that somebody else. I and you know what that's true I think and that might mean maybe you are meant to be this work and machines. You know they -- it may -- that she knew. Yeah it's it's government could be cute so what do you think about the rest your life though in terms of what would be ideal thing if you mapped out the rest your life do you wanna get married. Well I was married for nineteen years I would alone is society I've tried to -- Figure out what my legacy was going to be but I I don't have a legacy right now and I'm there I'm had to struggle and what that. So it seems to me. And I'm not saying this so like advise you but just who you know playoff for you saying it it seems that. The thing to do in life. Is to find that mission for yourself like what is that thing inside knew that drives you debt is undiscovered. You know what may in my -- that you would get a great pleasure. Out of finding. -- something to balance about the work she worked like a mad men you're acquiring an end and hanging onto well. But there's no point having wealth without purpose there's a dark so was so you gotta find what the purposes it seems to me the UB in the larger one we all have to find what the purposes there's no point having power. There's no point having informants there's no point having a voice if you don't have words to speak. And that's when it comes out next essential that the -- the end but you get alzheimer's and forget about everything he had did did you really have it. Yup that's a good point I mean the real measure I think of of a person's life is what they leave behind. Bob I thank you for that call billion next NW RQ good morning to you. Hello good morning good morning pretty that's pretty funny because I'm also get rated charged it beat. If I regret actually mean something yeah aid and I wasn't a novelist or coax in or something and I went -- up -- up. Edit that a mechanic you know it it technicals -- Would but -- -- those two things mutually exclusive -- see you develop the right in -- All the -- -- unleash disciplined person and -- didn't world as one bishop went that's a problem. That is so but how do you do a darn curious to -- discipline to be a mechanic. To a technical mechanic. What does that mean what kinds of things you facts. I HTC -- heating unit conditioning repair. RA at first -- 'cause side if you could get a issue is viewed as the you know she didn't learn to do that half hour writing a day or whatever it is what's fascinating things you could bring out of the world of HV AC into the world -- -- on novel or short stories of some like that. I think it's more about security and I think I traded yeah I'm certain purpose certain. Know everybody does that and so on some level I think you know rig except for people who work -- And they had more power to them the ones who were kooky enough June -- and artists or whatever. The idea you wanna be able to have a wife and you wanna do things secure rewarded in the have a path. But but that they knew I it the nice thing about the time we live and -- by the way were -- this book. The what is the name of the book the top five regrets of dying. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself. I wish I had worked so hard I wish I had the courage to express my feelings is from a nurse. Who has heard the regrets of people on the death -- I wish I'd stay in touch from my friends. I wish that I'd like myself be happier little bush and try to rid of some friends -- that's still true that I had well that's all part of the process so -- -- these are fascinating because we wanna make shore. That when we're laying there on the death bed. That or we preempted those regrets right. That's the challenge I mean that's a point of being alive it's really its interest in how programs -- this you know we we all. Think we're so unique and we're not. I mean we are in ways but the underlying principles of living a life everybody is after the same stuff. So an idea and a the decision you must have a populist you're obviously not thinking of one things you -- do for you -- -- and this is -- callers is well before we go to the strengths of Larry okay. Let's just say -- I have the ability right now to give you. Six months' vacation. -- all your bills he'll have good job when you come back. You have six months to do what ever it is you wonder -- now. You can learn how to play -- -- how are you can write a book you can do whatever what is it you wanna do before you die I -- someone gave me six months to do whatever I would probably go. I think apple is notre he worked yeah that's your that's the number one on the bus that was be my number one on the Martin number one on the vocalists. I think off the top my head I would do I'd like to do anything I want it to our wood filling in for Rush Limbaugh for six awkward I can't be work related to why -- our requires a -- I love Bork slate you know. JPMorgan guidance and over the -- to work for Goldman Sachs bush now you have to have five and that's fun. This is the most fun job in the world I'm not saying it is at 61726660. -- is six months or do anything in the world you can make up. Anything in the world you wanna still aren't. Now now blamed -- we did you come up -- fill in for Rush Limbaugh got two minutes. Two minutes to thinking all right Al thanks to some than we're taking your calls Tom -- Todd WR -- Finland who has the very I'm turning him into something worth talking about today. There she is Boston's talk station AMC TVW large Leo yeah. Donna Todd WRKO Tom was off for a couple more days I think. She's still OKJ. That seems to be the conclusion 6172666. Feet six seawall would you do. To make your life. More fulfilled what would you be number one in your bucket list in response to the five regrets of the dying number one I wish I have the courage love -- true to myself. And number two I wish. I hadn't worked so hard. Okay so in the magical end of coaxing and yes. I am giving you six months' vacation. And paying all the bills taking care of everything that you had that needs to be taking care of my kids all that other stuff. And in return you can do what ever it is you why. In six months for an Alley and pay -- that's wrong so you wanna learn how to play guitar and write a book. -- then you wanted to accomplish before he died at number one thing on your part to listen you said it was still in Rush Limbaugh yeah I find it absolutely stunning. Yeah that you wanna work and give you six I still like cruise the world -- Mean mark that would be a blast. Cruising the world would be the worst punishment you can human. I would browser and do somebody else's job and then -- -- -- hike the Appalachian trail allege that can be fun for a day or two -- Six months last I would be so much for six months yes a six month high here's by when you know I'm struggling to find something I've Rosalynn and I would have you would give us tickets. I assume she'd be part of the plan. Sure okay we have ticket a free passes to fly anywhere we want and whenever we -- and we have. House in Italy. Maybe in the I'm not sure -- some. And you know maybe a a nice show for your limousine drivers around to all of -- restaurants and so you could go to -- restaurant scene I would at least that's great I wouldn't. Maybe one -- working filling influence Russia one month and it'll it's that's obviously get a win win. How well you go to Italy -- you -- broadcast via via satellite from Italy and life generously and Barbara good morning here and I mean I can't say like I would I would really similar guys around -- -- wanted to know why didn't you say actually want to hike the Appalachian trail more than -- leads ask Susan -- yes you're crazy. Hi Barbara I'm sorry about no problem. It's funny because. I'm very amused by this subject. Why isn't this well I'm in murky and I -- -- Quit at fifty because I want to write -- and I did. You're right and have a few novels dynamite -- and many shorts just a law that's awesome congratulations. But my problem. Is getting published. And that's very very difficult but you know what I'm happy luring him. Well hey it's all part of a process right that's right I get to write my novel I mean look at the woman inning when you're dead -- little book Harry Potter and she becomes the biggest selling author history I don't know how she did it. I love it probably with dangerous drugs -- Are you part of the sixties generation. Absolutely. Okay pop a little oil ST write down everything you experience never try to I think you'll see that's what's holding you back -- no I'm happy as I -- cut that has done what I wanted to Wally say it's a tough thing it is we you know what you could have in one gearbox could be the best book that's ever been written. But to get a publisher and notice sent a very difficult thing. Tell it like get Simon just Harry Potter and the woman who wrote the twilight serious note she just wrote it. Based on a dream she had and now she's a multi millionaire dreams -- -- not even a good writer. Amazing gift -- creativity -- streams got a text message from 68680. Someone who's taking me up on the six -- Challenge I -- but I like the top -- there. But but it says Todd C seven swished his own show for six months that's -- is -- what I'm talking about here is. They'd like to travel to Montana and Wyoming in fly -- LSU of course now a refund then why it would be fun for me but I'm I'm seeing in the beauty -- -- him any good morning RR -- Good morning. Looking into it that. I am only doing or thirty this year and I already have all the regret. You've got regrets at age thirty in what they -- out thank you messed. How I would go -- LA give me at all hours and I got my dream job brand out of college you got my masters degree lied during the dream job. Any idea that I'm married -- -- some beautiful -- And I don't have barely any Pakistan with him my dream does give you nightmare and I can't get out of it below the main breadwinner and create he'll bear -- -- you need to make a plan. To get what you want at thirty you can use so that the tended to make it anywhere you want so it might take you five. But you can do it. Just on the weird thing and I don't living my -- and let it turned out to be era but that's -- that's how life is supposed to eat. You could you chart your path and it never brings you where you intend. You don't even if you get concretely what you intended to bring shooter due to -- a realization that's why we're here. -- can't put -- that people put a lot of money and time and like I looked like people shouldn't go to college. Rep I thought that's so lightly you'd think you know why I wanted to be a teacher and now -- -- doing now and election it's not -- our industry to be a teacher at. Wait so you or what what are you teaching. I'd teach English to Bob then being out I heard the other day Daschle -- know -- know me know I know. Ever bash teachers. -- you misinterpreted what do you think all right what I'm attacking is the power structure teachers are stuck in the middle doing God's work. It definitely and the problem is it's. Brilliant -- Obama being taking over. Education and into your little core curriculum I mean everything I loved about education as a kid it's not the same way anymore. So anyway I have to make a plan to change it. You -- you know you can't -- there's an idea didn't know what I wanted you know the change you can do that thirty years old Kamal Amy. Plus she got SI see something she gave up or no she's just amazed that she. She is such an achiever. This text message from six of three tells her -- welcome to light sweet -- that's true. So you well that's what people do we don't traps -- cells and you have to find a way to escape and what's interesting about this five regrets of the dying book. Is that that's at the point. For which there is no further skip other than -- and bright and it's a lesson for everybody else don't wait until you're on your deathbed. To do with these people that. Steve's in the car next on RK -- Steve. I've tried. Just thinking. All these people look on in. All wondering. What's -- what's what did I do -- borrow what they wished they had done before they died. And recently. I read a book a book called the purpose driven life you Rick Warren. And I thought there was extra because it it helps people realize said. Welcome had died Sunday but more important than making a piece of the goals that we have in place. Is make sure that we're on -- know the right person and an actual. Steve how we did is Rick Warren offer any insights into if you're somebody. Who like we have a caller who's a workaholic and and has no personal life outside of his work you know isn't married doesn't have kids. NEC in his fifties he's got lots of money but he doesn't know what the other thing is supposed to be. Did Rick Warren if it didn't tell you how to find the purpose. I believe I believe he did it and that's the -- that don't like Volvo view. It's it's it's a -- what we're doing well from brought in this case Christ whether it's very. You're still outside of your own needs we do tend to be self centered. -- I think a lot of sort of for a lot of us were also offers. But we're only to realize that this somebody else it's -- -- that we're gonna absolute -- -- then that gives us purpose and it gives us definitions so. Whether you the woman that just called that because. Some cheap tilt achieved she's failed insurance through the result. She's got normal like -- -- her and you can still -- direct true life. To get it has Barack can order and I I think one of the things that Jesus that was. What good -- improper manner of thinking the whole world yet lose this whole. So many people think that it's finally won the lottery I'd be happy corporate did this I'd be happy. But the truth so many matter is that the only -- didn't really happy if you know for sure. We would call and not only in this place but an electric -- Right so number one on this the top five regrets of the dying number one is I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself and that would be. Two by being true to yourself is not staying in a job you hate because you make a lot of money. 617266686. You'll take your calls coming up Tom and Todd WR.