Aug 23, 2011|
Our favorite Chump Line message today was the declaration that the 5.8 earthquake out of Virginia today being caused by the George Bush Fault Line.
Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.
See that those charges were dropped against that the outcome of my hands I guess I'll just get a -- if you want to have a drink you know quote imminent the. -- there were ever in the press conference -- the steps of the courthouse when the earthquake. Struck bad. Well there's a new tax holiday I can do even plateau and -- August 23. Earthquake commemoration day. They've needed on August holiday for a very long time there's no doubt about that. Earthquake and how about how about people today that we're just trying to do their jobs as public servants. In the earthquake struck and He fell out of their cheers. And work. And their backs will never abuse. As a matter fact I think I've come to think but I fell out of I fell out of my chair today I don't think my back however beavis and -- you saw me fall out of the chair when the earthquake came right. The horrible side -- -- to see it again thanks a lot a lot I'll be your witness though. My foot hurts your foot hurts that maybe -- -- that may not be enough for full disability policy India go for the back I have to stand a lot from my job now. You know a thing as too. Items I'm suffering mental distress I I don't like you know sometimes you know you you injured your back your neck and you forget to put on the racers on the -- private detectives Trace feature track and you around India. You end up indicted on ten counts of mail fraud. What I what I would like to say is types it's -- it's from living through this terrible ordeal of this. Earthquake. It's I I don't I don't know that well however be the same. Well I'll. Just. Pictures from beneath -- -- it's cool. Although today's forum abruptly been attempted games that you flash well look wouldn't -- care. Well how to get -- what rattle. He certainly kept every plant owners think -- capital -- -- home. That's at the animal life and never broke its -- basket -- -- in Clifford school in Portland Maine which is no longer with us by way. They have an earthquake that happened now the worst thing I get a -- ever happening there was hurricane Donna in 1961. And we went outside afterwards they there were all these -- these power lines were down and the power lines ports there were like snakes. They were spitting electricity. And -- -- member of dog was getting -- by and I took that I took the dog by the collar electorate if the dog away and in this woman who on the dog. -- which I think you been drinking hole earthquake -- whole lot hurricane that struck hack. Well I did not go all and I -- my god don't touch my dot. OK. Okay. Just walked away I don't know what happened to the dog I think He made and I think He didn't I think He realized that He was playing with fire so to speak. -- Earthquake seem -- first test with flying colors. At least we have that the web album -- image and now and. Yes yes we go -- it's the of the -- is the Halliburton hurricane machine has been refitted over the last three or four years and that's why. They haven't been any hurricanes in on the East Coast lately or or even Texas. And so now love now we probably are gonna get much from Irene now that we've see now what how what the Europe via Halliburton earthquake machine does. The earthquake comes Ramapo fault. But Obama -- -- came from the George Bush's -- Of course it did I told you -- has anyone seen. Carl roll over Dick Cheney today. The co pilots. Of the Halliburton earthquake machine of course you haven't seen him because they have been behind the controls. Plotting. This massive. It's this massive. Terrorist attack on the united states of America East Coast. What happened to that spot -- earthquake report. Didn't get -- -- buying illegal aliens while examining sidewalks cracked. -- -- -- after the next break I. When it -- that was what our wounds. Right now would -- -- -- practice and you Larry and I -- currently lately isn't doing that should -- Yes that's very true I don't believe they've -- -- that that would make creeping. That's right. That's right. And not to mention I've I've stayed here under fire as the building has been crumbling around me -- the worst earthquake in on the East Coast since 1897. They're saying 1990s and well whatever it was 189 race button okay meaning that they from our new -- 1997. A gentle -- and 1897. I think that's more likely. -- By the way I'd like to think Kowloon account and for bringing in great spread before they -- snow -- today they braved earthquakes. And you know the shifting. Tectonic plates of the highways the -- swallowing up cars etc. so there. All those -- -- member from horror movies long ago. And -- again it's the best. Asian cuisine in Austin where you go it's one more that it's August and it's a wonderful place. And it was nice to see representative on long. On Saturday afternoon and land. At the this Republican get together went. I think him personally for the for the -- spread every. Every Tuesday and it's good to be that was the only thing I missed about not work in last Tuesday was chicken. The chicken fingers. So thank you to -- 11. Or its August. It's -- I didn't just -- because my whole question. You can't be involved. You think burying those cattle truck lineup for bridge like they had the movie earthquake. -- that would be good to. If somebody had a sense of humor you know why I I think it channel 56 that would have let me do that they would let me do that maybe not though after the are famous earthquake. 1980. Nobody is our technology screw around. When -- be great to just go -- I get a just get a get of the earthquake movies if there is there's a number of earthquake movies you get the last days of pomp pay. -- all sorts of movies come to think of it and just put them together or just say here's a -- here's here's what was happening in a Milton. Here's what was happening in Pittsburg look at this look at the earthquake that -- the earthquake opened and unleashed a volcano in. In Essex. It would be great. There's been an earthquake. That they -- -- spoil -- but now that the big stick. I wouldn't wanna -- way to go president. I would be there just happens that this is a bad this is my bad luck tonight I have to go into the model. This tunnel will be a bargain. Senator Kerry would you like to become my daughter it's going to be such a bargain Al Ali even pick up the tab we're gonna go through. That's most ridiculous thing I've ever heard I thought so. Someone suggested that but the market what you do it problem. I'm doing pretty -- What ball. By the way officer Marxist media mania that story for me on weight daily sun. This is for this is near where He lives it's also near where Mitt lives on the lake went up for sake. Reputed Brazilian gang members to be deported He believed that. That that's far north to New Hampshire reputed his Brazilian gang members. Ali yeah technically illegal. Is that you're so. They're technically. Nicole homicides. Technically not illegal. And contribute. I was thinking the same thing this morning is if Leo is it is it illegal to kill. If it's not illegal to be in the country even though you are illegal is illegal to kill somebody. In the country where you're in me illegally but it's not illegal to be in the country illegally. Technically it's not illegal to be legal in Massachusetts. Thanks she's she's working very hard on this case -- she's up against him jail. So big this a big thing I don't know what's cool well we'll talk more about that in case -- case -- you think that you think Roger Clemens. Retrial is it is is a waste of time and money this it's nothing compared to this Tim Cahill. -- data that they've got going to mean the guy that I was their strong. In the governor's race last year. You're supposed to guy I -- was you know put it runs as your straw you give them a job and nice no show job by job analyzed though. That's that's so that's what gets in return for the humiliation of being a straw and losing badly. That looks like to trade -- I think that's I'm telling you the -- is going to be a shortage -- straws in the years ahead if they if they do district imperial. That played your last jump line message thank you for calling out retired U. You see they fired the guy that fired the chief of staff about the lottery. I cracked up to -- ready He He was a former deli owner in Quincy. Their -- in the old Joseph Paterno aligned Joseph Paterno had this kicker your views he's the coach of the -- alliances present with say. Joseph Paterno this Italian place kickers housing and make the the sportswriters kept asking appointed thus that the guys down so bad. And Joseph Paterno said. I know what you guys that they can but I don't I don't use use that I don't use that place kicker because he's Italian I use that place kicker because I'm Italian. And what I think is. Tim Cahill didn't hire the chief of staff because He was an Italian deli owner. Tim Kay hill. Hired. The guy from Quincy who was a deli owner because. He was a deli owner from Quincy He wanted to be wanted to be surrounded by guys He knew when guys He his his cohorts his colleagues his associates. Are right. That's if for the chop like today that term plan is the recorded voicemail message service of Howard Archer you call leave a message of any power that there tonight including weekends. The -- number -- like the we have such a message is 61777934696177793469. We may or may not. Play your message at this time each week day. Today's -- line is brought to buy Lumber Liquidators Lumber Liquidators has an incredible selection and the best prices on hardwood flooring anywhere from 99 cents a square foot. Call 1800 hardware today for all your home and contractor need to log on to Lumber Liquidators dot com. -- -- earthquake and of the Ramapo fault but Obama's thing note came from the George Bush's fault.