Sep 20, 2016|
Love Letters - Meredith Goldstein, Boston Globe - Gold Diggers 9-20-16
Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.
Eight. Meredith Goldstein nice to see yeah I know while I'm so happy to be here you are up in Toronto at the a film festival Ira Glass still I was one perk of the job is getting to go to the Toronto international film festival because it seems like every year there's a big Boston movie and this year it was Manchester by the seat with Casey Affleck which filmed here a few years ago. Very New England phone. Lots of Moby guy is dealing with tragedy and compartmentalizing by turning on Red Sox games. So it's something you know might on out of I have to tell you that when I saw the people behind me. The men behind me weep and he's gonna get nominated so I I have a feeling in on it mean it's it. It's a really. Libel film and I'm like oh my tickets now. Manchester-By-The-Sea. Is it actually shot there that while it was not a ground game you know around you can answer I mean you'll know you'll recognize. That you'll while you know what it will be started it started filming right after our horrible disease to actually has been a while but you know. He plays a janitor in Quincy who have been asked to return to keep wanted to deal with family business but you'll recognize every little story that's the return is Laurie that the guy in the room together at the notebook. I always forget is meaningless Bart Starr this is what Nicholas are gonna be doing instead of writing the same book every single you don't like it doesn't work makes. I haven't seen story I can make a lot of money but write something inventive for I suppose but he's he's ready that same book all the way to the yeah about the movies in my acute form is so ridiculously formulaic. Like you can do it. You know Hillary of course of course but I think I can outline in the director who did you need. A star I mean he's. He will make a tiny fraction of you know yes and it's not all about the money but I don't know that patent that is Nicholas Sparks so we deserve some of these he will get it later this year will in November I'm sort of I think around Thanksgiving and different figured out but it's really heartbreaking. He's sort of leave in the mood where I think my editor and we sort of just a silent dinners so get ready for a bad back. You can balance that would La La land which is directed by Harvard. And that is a very good for you and your editor Avalon a lot of attention today it's just a few scientists are not a lot I will say we did. We did manage to eat plenty. I think you had during the festival he. I had some freak ice cream I did not get routine in Canton office which went well I see if you are ingredients for a gravy and cheese. I think once every five years or so you're right I skipped it. Via I did have a lot of good Canadian gravy cheese and for high rises after you know Winnipeg catalyst clip you just you write downs in life ever how three food groups are. You're out there off and we're. I worry I'll take a look at one of your most recent favorite love letters yes averages in that. You know this is something that you sent a lot of people were talking about this so of course I was still posting revelers from Canada because you know this is an important thing and advice columns so I would say that of of this month so far the most controversial letter has been. He does not make a lot of money that was the headline on it and it was from someone who wrote in and said that you know she was with someone who really had not as a profession it was lucrative. And would she that was stick around knowing that she wanted nice things and answer kind of lifestyle and my readers wing craziness when you know difficult shallow nickel herself as. All of those things might be true but I had just sort of commend her little bit for knowing what she wants and think about it which is. You know if you are really feeling like this is the lifestyle. Good for you get out of the relationship good you know yourself and and you know in the same way. I might say you know really comfortable leaving someone who is super fancy. I don't want a repeat on this but I can't damages if you're going to be a gold digger be upfront about it then and if we're cool with it fine him for not day we're gonna have to Garza for ways that just be up front that's the question is really you know. For muddled it sounds like from the letters I don't know if she was the legal drinking may be filtered. And is only good terrorist that he just wants to struggle and I think that that's actually you know kinda common and I think in many people who have. Been through financial troubles will say it would have been nice not to struggle now one I will. Say to readers to one lesser lights now is. You can marry someone who makes a lot of money or the moment you think is appropriate. It does not mean able continue to ride on which means that's the end of the day you wanna be left with someone who you'd like and anchor hi honey. We find attractive well the world. Reading exactly what she said about him he says about a year ago I met my dream guy yeah handsome. He's Smart he's funny he's enjoyable. He's extremely well read you know she goes on and on and on the problem here is that he's devoted his life to charity and works for nonprofits. And he makes an average salary his parents died when you these young and they did not leave him and it. Right now this is what drew breeders' freezing that he works for non profits and that what is now Issa you know Larry's like. Bit like when it's popular for adult diaper and make some money or personal and that's exactly what I said yeah I'm picturing this like incredible you know social worker type guy who she's criticizing I mean. When I really wanted to say was and you know and currently what I would you like yeah in the comments section and I think most people really felt like at the catching on include non profit playing and that included the his his dead parents didn't leave him when I would've liked them for. Oh does baker celebrity Shalit. G I two thumbs up for just letting it all out there so she knows what she here's what I say about this. In the end the winner should she decide she's got to walk away will be here. Because cannot be strapped. With her who is obviously pretty shallow and doesn't appreciate a lot about what marriage is him first and foremost a business decision I don't know why people refused to accept ideas out there and you're right but I did hear it needs to be like. Couples need to be forced to happy legitimately serious the very first thing when she says yes the next thing that should be clarified his and we have a joint bank account or not. Because that is always a sticking point. I'd love it when people have to do whether it's religious or secular. Premarital counsel I agree because I think that it really get the heart of what is the transaction here because it's you know there's a reason you're signing legal legal document. And when it up for better or worse if it goes for financial to where you really win me if I'd lose my job in right match exactly and and and so when you sing a business transaction. I actually see differently than business transaction I think you better be unit for the relationship because you don't know where ago as a business I think that's in nets and and so that's why I see differently. In that respect and here's Mary meet you wanna you know what I've gone. Chances are good I'm not hand them forever and like starting a business with a friend and it is basically saying you know I love you and I'm willing to share our credit card. Right but I anecdotally friends if the business growth and line right I live for my dreams and a pocket full a goal like I think we all of that and it's a little bit between well having said that I think he also has to be realistic about it you know I might love you back a whole whole lot but. I also have certain expectations in my life but I don't understand it from the point of view of like you said. She's those expectations why did she think any ship we're on somebody else. Those expectations should be hers I don't know loses I grew up with dreams. Oh yeah. Norton Eli go get the money and I now. I think most letter writer commentaries were relieved shocked by this because you know the women in my column paid for independence where quite the actor expectation would copies at it lingered for. I think actual dollar amounts though I don't think that comes up for a long long time I think it's more lifestyle they I think that you make your Virginia. If you look at it I think if you meet someone and at 38 let's say 3530. You coming to the table win. You haven't you don't that it might. That what he did in his she do you think he's assume she's assuming how much he makes based off specs I would say it's more lifestyle based. If all of a sudden I'm trying to start to plan things and he or she is saying. No I think that my console that too much money. That starts affecting your lifestyle and tired of postage and I don't think I had the money conversation until. Basically marriage. Of what of just how much you you're not an editor but I was never saying no don't you can you. My primary end three years ago. See I mean it's I mean it also could be that she started in this and thought maybe this is a temporary situation he intends to pursue. Different career she's got a she's -- she's guilty achieved lights this guy when he doesn't meet witch fire dreamed that you can see she's a war with them matching that she's I don't know if someone wonderful she's gonna Marianne means she's gonna find out the money isn't everything in khakis and she's gonna be happily ever after hey are you bearing image she's got with the idea I'll change him and push you know further. And then they're gonna if she was glad you're gonna renewal of the idea to change herself and shouting god that's him more money it's hard for me to believe their women who exist in. In my circles within make machine doesn't have to go out surgery is different if she wants to stay all right kids in when I'm right she doesn't mention now so now one thing I will say is that sometimes letter writers keep in touch and that's when. And after she added day's worth of comments from people would be found out she emailed me she's gonna pick up where she's gonna marry him and they're gonna live happily ever for promise you. I am nervous that God's will never be able to provide me. With the lifestyle. I was used to as a child and then three she's gonna find out there is a many ways to skin a cat in that she's gonna have my happy lifestyle even though it may not involved Regis she's going to be fine she'll be filled another 929. On the WRKO boston.com morning show. Merited gold C does your from the pile of letters of Boston Globe and she's got a great one and in. How a couple of weeks ago earlier this month and it's. This couple gets together and tender. And they go out to dinner which is pretty weary guess when you're up from tender to they actually sort of have a and after that date they get together one more time and they go to sort of you know some. Place that's unique in anything to me captain expert shares some intimate. Details of their life. They'd. They but apparently did not have sex race according illiterate and and then this guy just stops seeing her and just starts texting her or regular basis. Initiating texts every single day. And getting like very intimate in these tax but will make no plans to see each other and not get together in this is so common it's so upsetting. You know I I really feel strongly that. You know all these apps in the Internet and texting all the stuff that's made its so possible to not actually see humans and I think you forget that the whole point is to get together when you went people send me -- like men mystery man in particular like you know they're just trying to. Well he wants it to apathy because he wants to you know have sex with you well I would argue that so many people are not trying to have actual sex. Yeah I think that are out attack win. There trying to actually I would say that many letter writers are women who were saying the sky keeps texting and emailing. And sometimes the subject matter of of that communication is very sexual and yet no one has mentioned getting together and I actually through this most with college students of this the super upsetting. Where college students pulled me. I'm aware messaging and and are all day for weeks no one hears tried sacks especially him where they're saying what when you try you know. So there is something worth coming to mind he's insisting now let pat finish can be for the navy navy but right I think that in in this case I think you know people get busy Easter texting and begins to feel like the real attention when it's sort of when her attention so. My advice to people who were just getting tax as opposed a plan as they should say Arenas each other like you know be forward about it because I don't want for ever get this at all to create a problem and much more thing. On line and ill person. I'm guilty about. Telling people now you know and in the days were used to make phone calls now you know even a family member friend in need somebody might Tex means are called the alt text back so this is real issue where it's les Venus it's oh. I actually like to see how people rate which is which is an interesting thing I think people are very different rating but in this case it seems like. Probably bouncing other people were tendered. Probably not. Really motivated about it scheduled to have to say when we actually going to see him but he he would. People are much more willing to go there this way. And are this one sneaky rejected he's not gonna have phone sex is there anybody you'll have tax act this way you putting your phone to your year to talk to the person that's gone I mean where I agree we've moved on financial they're not gonna sit across from each other at the Cheesecake Factory you know. So violent. I'm in a banana hammock right in your on the didn't should cannot but he will do wood and a phony a lot of them all day it's it's it's stupid things so so I guess what did it says to me is that she's in for relationships not gonna put enough I'm not finesse from this guy to get through economic and it's been weeks and weeks you know you either make no moves toward you make plans you don't and I think that you know. For some people it is appear projection they can keep texting be the most interest in the planet and they don't they have to pay may be kept paper date if they fill up like they're all these. Awful things left to do in person like being human and some people are little to Lindsay for the agency's merger realities sex toys that they're coming out with now that but this is the. What did you see them. This is on drug test drives are doing a commercial there when I'm not gamble and Griese was lusting after every all the ports on the Meredith may be out of a job. Generation because people are gonna be. Why that movie where I was having the relationship with theory it was her at the library that her amendment he was breaking because I thought to myself as I watched this movie. I'd buy that. I would you know I would buy something or talked to part girl that's coming up an old enough on my turn one during the Brian well. What this specific taxing situation there's only two situations that can apply heat either he or she is either a Sissy bright and they won't just meet up again because they're nervous. Right or or me or B which is they just don't wanna be dark. Or Agassi but he really he's initiating these men they married our net Wright married or single texting juggling many many women yes Mario wore life via I mean it's right not it's not signing dates and third dates and peace are. Now exactly right exactly especially because. By all accounts if we're to believe the writer the first to what well yeah. The first you will well and then suddenly he becomes this texting. This intimate text her verbal commit in playing this week complicate Mary Peters and married is something did you did you say that to her in respect all right you're really left at that it is so many things I want to say that I feel like might be hurtful I can lead to the comic actors and immediately be able say ladies he's an eight yeah. And I I don't know it to be true of course we could be wrong and but it's really certainly showing up. That's not where I went my mind immediately but now that you've said that feeling again down in Tehran cited stereotype her profile to use the word of the day again and. IC guaranteeing their and I think you your chances of an intimate. Long term relationship or severely. Restrained for his mediums some more the only thing also about that is that Tinder has evolved and if it's true and it does anyway. And I tell all admiral of a really long term relationships that have. And Tinder I think these these apps like they always start is one thing and I think it would throw me except for I was announced here. You like an outright unity on tender age you may be a contender and you may be a contender for the same reason that he's on that they had two dates in there no sacks. And if the outline in your attention is to get together you're gonna have sex and get their you're like me and Edmonton and I think your person. Beat he took her game and in a minute of the day in and Iran is now actually cut them all come on north Koreans are known or however she brought it up and so we will then he's a weenie let's go back to OK and I. You know or any doesn't have any reason to 08 years in a box and he king. Out of and others in this league you kind of want to play for in Iraq he wants any effort and would benefit and she wants more than that and is married. You're right I'm actually surprised that your buying into the tender stereotypes of the north and Carl buck us up and it's up. Any way to get in front of another person a potentially meet your next significant Amanda started doing a matter of all right fine. But men are doing that on tender manner going to your and your stereotype I guess I am I guess I know man well I just well I'm telling you these manner and many of them are not trying to have sex but also that Tinder started as a woman I. And I agree to it and now I know many Oher on there because. The women they once were seeking an unmatched. Four to actually date are now on tender so he sort of have to go it's just become the answer she wears an hour and as alarmist generation it's common and Tinder now is not what it started brightly here and that is as but you know I still in my earlier anything. Also what is the new tenders. They'll be one deck is they're always needs to be upon. Look alternative providers service I'm not in love with a but it did it is fresher no pun intended Hamas and I got burned during the just. Swap. Very thanks it's been fine thank you for having me absolutely be sure you check out love letters folks you can see Abbas to back them up and you can hear it. Boston Globe dot com. Thank you mandates aren't we'll take a break everybody it is now 943 here in the York you know Boston back and mourn each of.