Jul 11, 2016|
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The following program is a paid commercial program the voice of plus 10 AM six. OK well 937 FM HD till now. Next on talking about divorce the difference between two low. I didn't restraining orders and harassment prevention orders. Plus our best advice for cross examination and enforcement action that the department of revenue you can take VIP interview with the often. Of the newly released book overcoming destructive. Anger appointment radio here it's talking about divorce started right here right now coming up talking about it was not intended to encourage anybody. Which provided forty digital entertainment purposes should not considered legal advice enough. I decided to change without notice he should not act on any information until she qualified professional help I'm on track specific back. Here we go. Just talking about divorce. Fight attorney Ellen Pollack from Pauly. A lot group. Where the sponsor of the program this edit every single week now. Talk about divorce is not he said she said perspective on liars cheaters. Pretty that he is. But in informative talks about divorce. All of strategy realities and a little boards payment as we collar. If you are thinking about divorce if you've just conserve your in the midst of the divorce process are already divorced. This is the program it's talking about divorce would tips and strategies double enable you to move forward and powerfully really. Build your life. And we do it every single week. Now one topic. That we get a lot of requests about that we haven't talked about for a few months. Is this issue of restraining orders and harassment prevention orders they're different. Now we've all heard of abuse prevention orders those too low now days but to own any restraining orders in court. And there's one that's five or six years old Colby harassment prevention order which is on 258. Even here are either being abused or harassed. You can't you're you're able to request a restraining order. Under two different types let's talk about the more traditional. Alone 98. The abuse prevention. Order. You can get a from a judge. And here's what you need in order from the judge to grant this. If the person who loved it is abusing you. Is one who to whom you are or were married to. Some with whom you are or were living with half a family member related by blood or marriage. Maybe it's a pair of your child even if you were never married. War some with whom you all are. Or have been in a serious dating relationship. So those are the conditions any chairs suffering from abuse. Because your abuser has harmed or attempt to harm you physically. And it caused to you don't fear. Your who'll likely to be physically hurt at any moment. Are fortunate to have sex or threatened view into having sex. That's when you can go in for the 2098. On the other hand there's the harassment prevention order and this has it is not eliminated anyway. Specific types of relationships. You can ask for harassment prevention ordered that 258. Each order from a judge. If you're suffering from harassment because. Someone has committed three or more acts. Three or more no more willful. And malicious. Medium was done on purpose it was done for cruelty hostility or revenge. And they were aimed you. And they are intended to cause you fear intimidation abuse or damage to property. And abuse means causing or attempting to cause physical harm. Or causing fear of imminent serious. Physical harm. And it did in fact cause you that fear intimidation abuse or damage to property. Court order if someone has forced you to have sex or threaten you into having sex at least once. It's not the rule of three likely was before indecent assault and battery rape. Statutory rape assault within ten terrain. Enticement of a child criminal stalking. Criminal harassment. Or drugging for sexual intercourse. So there we go. You've got those 209 a restraining orders the abuse prevention order. And then there's been harassment prevention order. A 2098. Isn't limited just someone with whom you have a specific type of relationship where. But the harassment prevention order doesn't require it's not limited to specific types of relationships. Now this is important stuff because a lot of times. Where the relationships are getting tense. Or divorces starting. Sometimes people want to use these sometimes there are real sometimes they can be false allegations of abuse. You need to understand it and by the way. If you go to mass dot gov. And go to the courts self help section. You apply this information about abuse and harassment. And the difference between the Q. Any know there's a couple weeks ago where we talked about how great. The family court's website has become. And I would also add. That the family court. Has now added an. It's or senator. Now it's held in suspect. At that Edward Brooke courthouses. It's it 24 noose hardened street second floor. And you ought to write this down. The next. Seminar or answer semi Sadr. There are always good week for advice thirty. You know courts pretty much done at four. And it wants to go home by 530 so between four and 530. On July 14. In August 11. Two dates to write down July 14 coming up at August 11. The family court's answer setter it's it's soft like Tony Ford nor new shortened straight. On second floor of the big cap the big courthouse across from that big parking lot. And there's no sign ever registration is free. But you ought to check out the website that the family court asks. If you have questions about your case. Well. July 14 or August 11 from fortified thirty. He'll have the opportunity to meet individually woods' attorneys. Department of revenue even. The judicial staff Probation Department. Department of children families. You could talk about divorce paternity support parenting time all these things. A great service. A great service offered by the probate and family court. And you know like we said there anger issues out there that's why you need to know about these restraining orders to all night ace. And the harassment prevention orders learn about a online go to seminar and we just do it right here are talking about divorce we'll be right back. If you like what you hear on talking about divorce and wanna consider retaining Paula blog group for your case call so when pollen. It's 7817084527. Or email her window at talking about divorce dot com we'll be right back. RKL. We don't deliver the news we disgusted with you along WRK oh told voice of Boston. Welcome back to talking about divorce. Billy just finished talking about abuse prevention orders those to all night any restraining orders. And harassment prevention daughters these are real anger issues. And by the way. If you're the one who's filing. Seeking protection. Or you're the one who is being accused you better get an attorney. In this toughest tough. And sometimes judges this quickly is just. Pounding their rubber stamp on the order. It can turn lives around. Now. A lot of the a lot of anger and emotion. Sometimes it's at the beginning of a divorce sometimes when people are starting with problems. And that's what I wanted to bring line a great block there. He's written a blocked. Overcoming destructive. Anger. Great book great book great block. It's doctor Bernard. Golden eagle birdie. We come on the show doctor golden welcome to talking about divorce. In my carry me. What you're welcome near the founder of anger management education in Chicago you're practicing psychologist for close to forty years and your previous book healthy anger how to help children and teens manage their anger you wrote that about. Cluttered up thirteen or fourteen years ago this new book adult is great tell us. What motivated you to write a book about overcoming destructive anger. Well professionally. I worked in psychiatric hospitals serves good number of years. And it started putting together 45 minute classes one on anger went on anxiety one on depression. And I began to elaborate on the line on anger at the professional roots. What personally I get sick child realize over the years may just comes from. Observe my parents giving with their anger. They seemed to pick her lot with the each other and it may lay face sense that they were holding each other responsible for what they thought their lives should be. And I realized they eventually became angry at their anger and have it interfered in having. I'm more fulfilling life for reading either one of them and I think that's that deep roots. You know let's begin a family you're talking about your parents in your book. You reference an altercation that you had when you were eight years old with your older brother tell us about that story as it relates to your own anger. Sure I don't recall would speak out about why though we were wrestling. We were fighting I was on the floor he was three years old are you a little bigger than I. Can beat down and eventually I thought okay I'm just going to pretend I'm comment off say at. February and gold which they did scenes and I immediately got up thread the issue it's true that his head. But he had great reflexes and it's dead issue it flying through windows broke the window because it was close to. We live in an apartment building on the second floor and I was just ever so grateful that no one was hurt. What fed did was convince me I had an anger problem that I would acting out my anger and potentially destructive way I and that. Keeping my hangar and and if I expect that later on it was more with verbal outbursts and clearly that wasn't the best way he would. Well and this was when you're eight years old Ryan wow well you know everybody is different but generally speaking. Tell us what really fuels anger from the moment of birth. How was it that anger is learned. And you're both project of our nature and now and nurtures a somewhat virtually conceit infants in the nursery. Some seem more and skin than that and they're very reactive for peacefully stimulated. And others might be less thick skinned. And more mellow and temperament. Some studies suggest that there are potentially genes that might influence predisposition to be aggressive. I think clearly know like called genes from dealing with personality. What kind of experiences we have with loved ones with caretaker is very much and then term into whether those genes get enacted or not. So the message is we get that thing here for my parents siblings from our religion from our community. The lack of messages we end up concluding. I guess about anger gets from their being no direct messages but in direct. And then overlook what kind of resilience have we learned to deal with frustration. And a question to be emotional well being in general. You know I remember is a father. Why that is so this is 2223. Years ago my first son. When he was sitting in his height share. Wasn't happy about something and he took a toy he just kind of crude on the floor. Gave me a look. Now I don't know that he knew that he was community he was communicating to me the way to. You know he wanted to but I I perceive this. Testing that was going on in his head but if he was able to throw something on the floor have a little bit of a T and trump as he got a response from me. I would only be enabling him so how how enabling and when kids are younger does that have anything to do they. When the challenge is for children of NEA is that you're right they don't know how to express in words what they're really are feeling. And so sometimes the behavior like that is attesting. And if someone is testing they may also just want to feel some sense of empowerment some sense of having an influence hold Brothers. And so I think depending on the age he really young children McKay the first year. Did selection this child whether child wants the first year than I used the phrase then using challenges that have. Frustration tolerance that doesn't overly frustrated child so he should he Hewitt strives. Or doesn't provide enough frustrations so that's quality is so intolerable frustration because he hasn't been able to. Messner. And so is it a fine line and being aware of that but he writes some children like this since the he did terrible twos. He's married very much is since. And GT one with with. I'm just acting out for empowerment. Right so. Our program talking about divorce is targeting those that are contemplating divorce. New to the divorce process or those who might be going back for modifications. Changes in their agreement or to seek enforcement from a former spouse who may not be following the terms of their judgment. What are some of the specific. Trigger points. Relating to anger. That these people might expect to experience. And what general suggestions would you make. To help them turn this destructiveness. It's a more healthy behavior. Get it primarily to remind ourselves and not in that situation net anger it's a natural emotion. The challenge is salute to develop healthy anger which is being able to is rather than to react to it. And there. This feeling threatened that's one part of anger and we field threat to ourselves and emotional well being our financial well being perhaps our resources. But it's also a reaction or a distraction from some other inner pain like feeling hurt ignored devalued. Shameless disrespect it. Address some of the traders have to do it. Ending a relationship when the other person who initiated. Or or or hacked or the other or your spouse initiated. They'll be anger about the relationship not working out and the Yang seriousness of the reaction to both the census heard lots frustration. Disappointment. Not only to what did do it didn't happen but also to the future dreams involved or much creating. And creating is that it has to do with lust and sear it and fear definitely. Heroes being alone perhaps for the first time in awhile here. Terms of that threat we may feel threatened almost like where there are a little child where how life is feeling very vulnerable. When in fact the threat might be financial resources or being alone again who wore. Just having to compromise and make readjustment so we do with the unknown. Another part of banker may be anxiety as dealing with being a one zone against us being angry to be a distraction from dealing with that. Yeah you know as I mulled this over in my head I'm thinking that. It seems that it can be the anger itself. That could contribute to divorce a strange family's. Job loss addiction imprisonment. Give us tour three solutions are strategies. That might help these angry people free themselves from this intense emotion. And give themselves the freedom to lead happier or more productive lives. Where the guidelines I offer my book guidelines for terms of engagement mr. couples dealing with conflicts. And I you suggest that they agree ahead of time that they actually talked ahead of time about how to engage. So that they choose the word went couple iso I used the word avalanche another. Walrus just something silly and whimsical. And and neither person could say this word when they're feeling too agitated and when they're recognizing the conversation is not gonna be constructive. With the promised that they have to come back at some future time to discuss. I get courage cup host not to argue late into the night or in the bedroom or in bed because attempts. Made it and thinks the bedroom. Possibly. Argument beyond the 45 minutes. Pure emotion is going to be flowing rather than good reasoning. And so it is tendency to be angry at fate engage in relaxation relaxation exercises. And promised to come back didn't just to get time out come back into it another time. Student this time exactly. In the sense of agreed to disagree for certain amount of time. Well well the book he's great I got it I read it. I read a second time overcoming destructive anger one you give us and contact information or web site. Let our listeners know how they can get the book but here's your time to. Shining your bowled over your head and let people know how to reach you when word gets the book didn't talk about what would be good for you. Okay my web site is anger management. Education. Dot com. Again this amount falsetto to anger management education that can't write that and the book is available on Amazon as well as how wherever books so. It's gotten great reviews have you seen in the reviews it got on line. I heard I appreciate it very much so yeah. Any contact information for people that may want to offer any type of services through a couples therapy or anything over the telephone. No I don't not commit to the fallen patriot guiding counselor and. Okay all right well we dealt listened. We know what we know the book we know where to get it you've given us your web site I wanna thank you very much for contributing to the show it's a great book you've done a great service for people. Doctor Bernardo Bernie Goldman. Author of the newly released book. Overcoming destructive anger thank you very much for being not talking about divorce speculative. To reach or win during the week column that area code 7817084527. The number again 7817084527. What a good guy what a great block. And I talked about divorce we're gonna take a little bit of it turned out to talk about when you're in court or one year in the hot seat in a deposition. So when your court honesty and your deposition. There are handful of rules and some examples out and give you that you always want to beat. Using during what I call cross examination but cross examination is when the other attorney. The other side is gonna try and I check your credibility. Or find ways to make you seem less believable so this is what we need to talk about. Had a conduct yourself when you're in that chair when your being deposed or if it's a trial in. Big called you up was cleared here's the first thing you've got to always did it always always tell the truth as basic as that may seem. Lying in court. And for that matter anywhere who's got a good idea. Because once you under that first lie more or gonna follow and you will I promise you I'll eventually get caught. Because attorneys are good. And knowing how that yes. You all wrapped up. And then it's just eats it. And you're gonna mess up. Annually of one cheered when it comes to credibility of what that judge. And remember in the family courts the judges bolt the fact finder like a jury would be. And the judge. So big below the rules of law end. They hear the facts. So you lose credibility in front of the fact finder to judge yet it's not good here's a second thing you need to deal. Tell the truth only in response to the question being posed. When we say it again tell the truth only in response to that question post. Now just as lawyers like to hear themselves speak. So a lot of witnesses. We're up there. Is a tendency got what I hear yourself talk. You need to listen to the question that's been closed. On cross examination. And here's what it suggests you do repeat that question to yourself before forming your answer I always recommend to clients. That they practice and start this process from the very beginning. When you're asked a simple question please state your name. Repeat yourself please state your name. And it's gonna get you in the habit of making sure but you understand the question being post. Here's the third thing. Preparation. Is best through practice. Have a say in this for years it's no different better and sports. Ranked. You've got to practice. Most litigants. Are not accustomed to cross examination. This is a process likely so we're somewhat subjects everything you say to an instant scrutiny. Would no desire to help you at all and it takes a while to get used to it. Now what I say. When I say and I and I said before but you only wanna tell the truth in response to the question being post. How many times has someone walked up to you one last look you know what time it is. No time this next time looking you'll watch repeat the question yourself to wonder what time it is an answer yes. After all that's the correct answer. They didn't ask you what time is it. They asked judo alternatives. So the way to handle that is looking you're watts repeat the question yourself and any answer yes. After all that's correct answer you don't know what time it is. Fourth. Speculation. When you're on the standard your being cross exit speculation. Is fun for gamblers. But for cross examination. Though witness did is no place to guess. And just because you were asked a question. Don't be pressured to give an answer court estimated to what you think his. On comparable. It just treat it does that does that make sense. You know it's an exaggerated example I used to trying to emphasize to clients. This point by asking the following question am I am male or female. While most footage and I was male. Put it literally took a peek at me in the bathroom don't know there are guessing. All right tips rule don't forget to leave the door opening. Know what I mean by that. What what what are what what do mean by that dole leave the door open. You know most of us have heard a one point or another our lives words to the effect don't make sure the doors closed. The rule for cross examination is the crop of six. If you of the person being cross examine the lawyer asks you questions and they wanna shut the door they wanted to get your answer. And shut the door to prevent your escape on the other hand you always one away out. So the best way to handle that is to keep the door opened. And indicate. Well as I'm sitting here now I'm not sure that I can remember everything now might be responsive to your question. All of tempting it's a good question the best of my ability but it may take additional effects later you've kept the door open you're not nailed against the law. But remember they want a box you win. You wanna keep yourself open if something comes up. The last keep comb. A tilt let me tell you about keeping call. If you're in a deposition. Are your honesty and emotions have no place during cross examination. Take a deep breath and relax if you need to. Pay attention your body language. In other lawyers. Now when your being deposed. They're gonna Craig debt temperature up to 78 degrees. It's not comfortable. It'll get on your nerves there's Kim's gonna start to spray I think it's stressful. So you know what. Say it's getting hot and year. Or they're starting to yell or call you nick. Take control. Chest to get deep breath. If you follow these rules. You're gonna do okay when it comes to cross examination are right not Urals city to talk about divorced I'm attorney your apology divorce does this coming up. You're divorced truth detector is here. Don't listen to friends or family. There are not lawyers I've invested fifteen years in my marriage. My was the end think he has all the answers but he's not a lawyer did not looking out for my best in traffic. That's why I come on talking about divorce to get the right answers and that's why I listen every weekend. Lock us in May get appointment radio. Talking about divorce. The boys of Boston PM 680 WR KA hole and ninety preset FM HD 20. Talking about divorce continues and here comes divorce news. In May after our last week in the news the story was that Lisa Marie Presley is divorcing her fourth husband. That was last week. And the story was the third time wasn't a charm for Lisa Marie and neither was the fourth. Elvis' daughter had called it quits on her marriage to producer Michael Lockwood and filed for divorce. According to TMZ. Presently now 48. Was asking for full custody of the couple's seven year old twin daughters. Suicide given a visitation let's nice likelihood she you'll never choice to her sort of PX. But only if you're the monitor. She wasn't looking for spousal supporter chuckled support Lutz died. Wondered if he had anyway. At the fort lock which was married to calm you know she's married to Michael Jackson years going Nicolas Cage. But then. I don't know 67 days ago Lisa Marie Presley decided to make it change. It was learned that the 48 year old had Al mandated. Her divorce filing against Michael Lockwood to reflect a legal separation instead according to top court documents. You know it's kind of interesting. It's kind of interest and you know legal separation people call us about that. And you know years ago all those someday but the judges say it's like listen in or out in or out in or out legal separation. What that means. You're gonna get divorced and I anyway. So. Reluctant Lisa Marie Presley and her. Sports. I guess it's not always been yet okay next another one this is great. Woman divorces are paralyzed husband. And marries his best friend. So they can take European together. This is one of the strangest stories. Started really ever come across. A woman and China. Divorces are paralyzed husband Mary's his best friend another taking care of her acts. Now there are a lot of exes I can't pronounce the name. I think I could call won't won't forget the last names so there's zoo anxiety. Right Zorn got. Got married in 1996 he had a daughter of the next year. But tragedy hit 202 when Zulu. Was above a terrible accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. I don't understand this but he got 6000 dollars in compensation. But lost his ability to walk forever. Another man remembers their neighbors. Kept telling him that the wife was gonna Leo who's gonna live with him for just a few months. But he proved them all wrong as years went by. And she and the kids remain biased side. But now I guess they're a third person gets in the middle air. An ailing woman divorce is paralyzed husband Mary's best friends and it did take Caron the other. And I'm sure there's some side that it's there okay and our third story. It's over for Kevin Mickey had and his wife Jane. There Grey's Anatomy star did to Obama are set to divorce after almost seventeen years. Kevin. Who plays and not on Grey's Anatomy. And Jane they shared two children. And the actor's rep said Kevin and Jada jointly decided to end their marriage. That's what I said on behalf of the couple they look forward to continuing their. Co parenting relationship of their children which is in their top priority and you'll continue to enjoy a close and caring relationship. That's doing it the right way. And here's this just came in yesterday. Ought to have a lot of details but I got a great paragraph you're ready. Unbelievable. In divorce news. After a lengthy and harshly contested divorce case. Oh Weiss I don't know where NASA Jack I don't even know which court. Looked out the window the day after the trial. And saw a movie man of the house next door. Guess what it was her ex moving and purchased their neighbor's house secretly during the trial. So you know why it. Tell you what sometimes. I think I heard it all but there's always more. To get articles tips and divorce solutions it's talking about divorce on steroids go to talking about divorce dot com all right. The department of revenue. Our current Commonwealth of Massachusetts has eight department of revenue and one of error I objectives. Is the enforcement. Of child support. What do wanna talk about some of the different actions. That DOR department of revenue it could take. You know I missed Sarah support payment is an automatic judgment by operation of law. I can really cause some problems. Dior doesn't have to go to court. And good judgment when payments are missed in order to collect asked do you support. Most of the action is a deal are takes to collect and of forced child support our automated. And there are a lot of different actions that they can use until past due child support is painful when you give you a handful of these this is important. They can take child support out of appearance paycheck. You know all Massachusetts child support orders must include a provision for child support. To be paid by Inco withholding. And the employer takes child support at a current paycheck and send it to the DOR. That court order to require the income withholding starts immediately. Where you can order that it suspended. You know what else to deal or can do that could take an extra 45%. An extra 25%. Out of appearance paycheck. If they're behind more than. Five weekly payments or tool luckily payments. The other can tell the employer to take 25%. Struck. Until that Aristide supporters paid. You know what else they can bill. They can put a lien on a parent's house or other property. Is pretty intense. The apparent all news or has right to any property. Can Dior to music does lead to collect past due support. And it appeared sell my house. They can take money from the sale of the broadcasting transport. DOR can also take money apparent has in the bank. And they can also take. Your tax refund or any other type up federal payment. There's a lot of power that they have. If you're behind on support. They can take a state tax refund check. They can keep up pair forgetting or renewing our passport. They can take money from appearance unemployment benefits. They can take money for a periods. Workers' comp benefits. And this is intense. Behind on child support. Deal Larkin suspend appearance driver's license vehicle registration or other licenses. They could tell consumer credit reporting agencies that a parent owes child support. Imagined seeing them on a credit report. They can take insurance settlement. They can take money from up parents. Public pension. They can also take a lottery here casino winnings. And they can take unclaimed property. You know all those ads you're on the radio about mass but don't expect to take that to. So be careful. You are but away. If there's child support that you know deal are also chipped in. When it comes to alimony. They want to alimony alone. What else don't help enforce what alimony if child support as part of the orders well. So we have some doors moves. We talked about department of revenue and that's what you have you know sometimes you may have to go back on a contempt. But sometimes you don't have to if it's all of all the paperwork is done that the deal are. The enforcement actions that take and take our huge. Sarah what do you think that you've got to be you know right when you think you got all the answers right when you think that you can pull a trick guess again. Because. Diaw are. Strong. How do you choose the right Boston Cape Cod twister or western Massachusetts family law attorney. You can search the Internet re one divorce lawyers website after another but after a wild they all sound the same right. Paula clogged roof knows how do you feel that's why we decided to let others do the talking for us specifically reviews written by our past clients. Go to mass divorce reviews dot com that's mass divorce reviews dot com. Many of our past clients are happy to share their stories and experiences they've had with our divorce attorneys. Read all about it at mass divorce refused dot com. Listen you never expected to have to deal with a divorce lawyer nobody does everything seems like a big mystery and your life feels like it's in limbo. Your first step is to talk to the attorney said Paulette Clark group. We'll set up a confidential in person meeting where we can sit down and talk about what happens next we'll discuss your situation. Your family and the things that matter most to you. You're meeting will result in an action plan plus an understanding of your rights and options. You may come in confused with lots of questions but you leave with a game plan and a clear idea of how to move forward with your life. Divorce is scary and it can make you feel like your life is falling apart. Pollack blog group is here to take you through the process would safety and security the best part your first consultation with one of our attorneys is complimentary. It's absolutely freak. If you're ready to get started check out the reviews at mass divorce refused dot com and then call us. 80910 divorce that's 80910. Divorce thank you. You can find. The news anyway this is where you'll be heard WRKO. The boys of Boston and yeah. The welcome back to talking about divorce yeah I majority era when college. Big deal for sharing part of your weekend's win us. Yeah and tell your friends about talking about divorce. Every weekend. At this time on this station and make an appointment radio. Starting today every weekend at this time. It talk to senior attorney Craig Silverman for Pollock Claude group about. ADR. Alternative. Dispute resolution. Now what's interesting is most people think. All the horses all arguments. Ali she's a parenting support got to run at a court that's not the case and Craig. You've always said all divorces don't have to run into court avenue. That's right a divorce can be resolved to informal negotiations between you and your spouse. Those negotiations can be when you're without attorneys but you get out of court alternative dispute resolution or eighty yard. Here potluck group we've experienced an alternative dispute resolution again often refer to a ADR. Helped facilitate settlement and avoid the time and expense of a lengthy court battle. You often hear people say that 5% of caucasians actually go to trial in divorce the percentage is more like 2%. We don't really find the vast majority of divorces are resolved before issues must come before a judge many duties of the ATR profit. Such as mediation or clever plot to keep in mind though that ADR is right for every one. Whether it's right for you issued an easy question to answer we can't play can ADR can be used to help resolve disputes regarding things like division of property. Child custody and support in a divorce. Depending on these key factors. The degree to which you and your spouse or dispute on the key issues and your willingness to work together to resolve those issues. Within their relationships that you need to preserve. Its implications involving parents and turning issues. Whether you do your spouse will be able to negotiate effectively. The process won't work it one party feels intimidated by the other. We opposite it should be a level playing field. To what extent you misquote me legal advice and representation in the negotiations. Generally mediation doesn't allow for quite a representation although there are exceptions. While clever plot guys. Remember an eighty yard the umbrella. Under which we have clad replied mediation as well as other types of ADR. Great points Greg thank you we'll talk to you next week. Our final thought of the day this weekend. As you go through your divorce. Time after time you're going to be faced with the same kind of choices. Give a little bit or stand firm on principle you can agree to send your children for visitation. Early. Lot of data here spouses often worked well let them go to your spouse's birthday or hold them to the schedule. As if any deviation would be fatal you can go with your spouse to a parent teacher conference or insist on scheduling separate meetings you know lack. You can also offer an olive branch or fire or drop us eating letter it maniac seemed true right now. But the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is take the high road as often as you can. Spiral means trying to compromise. Considered the other person's feelings. Do what's right for the children. Think about negotiating solutions don't work for everyone not just do. Whenever possible. Don't creator escalate conflict. Look at the big picture here we go another show. Up talking about support to your friends we'll see you next weekend what I. You've just heard another episode of talking about divorce one of the most trusted and distinguished. Sources of in depth insight and analysis on the issues relating to Massachusetts divorce and family law. Talking about divorce is produced by Paula clogged roof PC join us next weekend for another show and until then remember the divorced family is with a broken fast. But the family staying in a bad marriage it's. 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