Mar 21, 2016|
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Owing program hasn't paid commercial program AM 680 WRK 037. FM HD kill the voice of Boston. Coming up next. I'm talking about divorce thinking strategically. Knowing you're judged filing first videos of experts next preparing yourself weren't angry spouse once you break the news divorce risk factors for women can't co parenting after divorce it's a jam packed show and it's. Talking about divorce starts right now. Probably the talking about divorce is not intended to hurt anybody just. Information provided for informational and entertainment purposes should be considered that would like snuff. I decided to change without notice he should not act on any information until she qualified professional help I'm old track specific matter. Under the program if this is talking about divorce. And year out there and talking about double. More station on attorney Irwin Pollack from polyglot group we are divorcing family law attorneys all over the commonwealth. I mean we have offices and meeting locations in Boston and Cambridge Quincy and debt don't. Mayor field Plymouth. Framingham south Berle was stir. Springfield Pittsfield. Will burn in Beverly. Any even in New Hampshire south Nashua Manchester. Concord in Portsmouth. You know not only are talking about divorce. But one of the more or one of the most important things that we really focus on and you need to focus on it too. Is thinking strategically. If you're thinking about divorce maybe you'd just got served. Or you're a mother to window. Here. In the process. Or maybe it's even years. After a divorce and you're thinking about going back for a post divorce modification. That's a change in divorce agreement when there's a change of circumstances. Got to think strategically. Well we're talking about well first. And we said this big candidates you've got familiar judge. Because fairly lies the same across Massachusetts. But every county. Has some unique procedures. Even more each judge may have his or her error. All of our ability to apply the law differently I mean people are human. That's what we have to sign our attorneys. Two different sets of courthouses in regions. There really focused and try and study the style the judges. We watch him in open court. Literally focus on knowing both forehand. YE could probably expect. I mean who wants to be thrown off guard. You also want to be thinking about. Why you wanna file first. Now. You know what a strategic approach is needed. Filing first sends a message that you've got to clear plan of action. There are a lot of advantages he you're showing you wanna set the agenda. I mean that means that you get to present your case first. You wanna ask the court to grant temporary orders right away I would do at. You wanna set a clear message that you're serious. And you know I'm not talking about intimidation there the element of surprise. But if you have below the belt tactics. That are coming from your spouse and or kids or her lawyer. Mean what do playoff first put you in the driver's seat these things they wanna be thinking about. And also. You ought to be thinking about experts. Experts. Can testify. About things that you may feel. But here credibility isn't as strong as they have an expert. I mean they're vocational experts. Okay and testify about under employed spouses. They're psychologist guardian items and custody evaluated its web experience working in specific court to understand the cases when it comes to children. Forensic accountants. Can determine business values. Current and future income per child support or alimony calculations. Don't stuck in compensation matters. Forensic accountants could be a real gem when they're working on your site. Real estate specialists who can help you when your spouse when it comes to valuing the marital home. Plus up Fraser's. Medical specialists. Disability experts. I can go on and on. But these are things that are important. It's not only what we focus on at the firm but these are things we focus on talking about divorce. And this is your show. Have a question I have a comment pick up the phone join the conversation 180331. Irwin. 803314794. Now. I wanna get started. On the concept that there are divorcing spouses. Who can relate in a civil manner. Right from the beginning and calmly worked to the issue is of a divorce. If you're the one that's gonna break the news or it's coming to field. You know why they're all our spouses who can make it work civilly between them if you're in that situation can gradually since. You should be able work with ADR mediation or collaborative loft and the process. To help you complete your divorce quickly without spending a lot of money. Not so quickly that you're missing the details. But all we emotion in the drama is left out of it. The only other hand there are also situations where. Well one spouse mail preconceived ideas about how the court should fall. And they attempt to bully the other spouse into agreeing to those ideas. In other words you may be confronted with antagonism. And a lot of control. From a spouse. Who's controlled things from the past. And all the sudden you have your idea they don't know what to do now they're not in charge. There are some typical tactics. A difficult spouses use seemed content just divorces. And right after the break we're gonna talk about a welcome to the party this is talking about divorce I'm attorney Irwin Pollack will be right back. How do you choose the right Boston Cape Cod twister or western Massachusetts family law attorney. You can search the Internet 31 divorce lawyers website after another but after awhile they all sound the same right. Paula clogged roof knows how do you feel that's why we decided to let others do the talking for us specifically reviews written by our past clients. Go to mass divorce reviews dot com that's mass divorce reviews dot com. Many of our past clients are happy to share their stories and experiences they've had with our divorce attorneys read all about it at mass divorce refused dot com. Listen you never expected to have to deal with a divorce lawyer nobody does everything seems like a big mystery and your life feels like it's in limbo. Your first step is to talk to the attorney said Paulette Clark group. We'll set up a confidential in person meeting where we can sit down and talk about what happens next. We'll discuss your situation. Your family and the things that matter most to you. You're meeting will result in an action plan plus an understanding of your rights and options. You may come in confused with lots of questions but you'll leave with a game plan and a clear idea of how to move forward with your life. Divorce is scary and it can make you feel like your life is falling apart. Pollack blog group is here to take you through the process would safety and security the best part your first consultation with one of our attorneys is complimentary. It's absolutely freak. If you're ready to get started to check out the reviews at mass divorce refused dot com and then. Call us 80910 divorce that's 80910. Divorce. RK EL opt. News politics in conversation at all right here at WRK you know the voice of Boston. To talk about divorce. Thank you for sharing your weekend weather us. We're talking about. The strategy. Behind the divorce process. What I also wanna do is prepare you. For what may come back. I mean I wanna go through some examples of what you might hear. Our reality check about what you can expect that happened when he's breaking news. And also some advice about how to deal with what you're hearing. What are the most common things. That could happen. Is what you haven't Taipei. At controlling spouse. But see now the leashes around them they're not holding the leash they're not use they're not comfortable in situations like that. They might lash out say don't hire a lawyer or else. I think first thing we are spells to do was threaten you with consequences. If you consult an attorney instead of simply accepting what who they pick the settlement should be. I mean we had clients tell us that they've heard from their spouse if you don't take what I offer all fight you tooth and nail thoroughly you penniless. In happens. Or I was gonna be fairly humid now you've. Sick you won a lawyer and play hard ball and you're gonna end up with nothing. There's some spouses. They'll say let's stay at home spouse wanna take care of the kids and raised a family. You know you deserve out of this. Just what you put in that thing. And they think it's all about dollars and cents. And worked and shares admit or realize that you were a partner. Taking care of the house and taking care of the children so that your spouse could work act. Or you don't care if you hire a lawyer called fighter all final bankruptcy. And nothing is gonna be left free to some even say I'll pay my lawyer before have to pay year. You know these are threats. And you know what I would consider them I neon sign. Pointing you. To your lawyer's office sooner rather than later. Until I get. You wanna consider and a neon sign all those threats porn Ian lawyer. Because no matter what your spouse might say. You can't resolve anything until you know your rights and understand how the law works and how the facts would be your case there's absolutely no reason. You have to negotiate before you consult with the attorney you know you're right let me repeat myself this is very important there is absolutely no reason. You have to negotiate before you consult an attorney or know your rights. If you stayed argue you're gonna accomplish nothing. And if you feel threatened physically. Get on the phone and called police this is not the time to be nice when you're hearing next. You may also hear. A spouse's says you know who'll save money if we mediate without attorneys. And I'll tell ya. Mediation. You know we've talked about this it's a process where it's a third person the mediator. Hopes divorcing spouses reach a settlement. Now the mediator doesn't have any authority to make decisions but they facilitate. The discussion. And support communication. So that the tour you can read something on hero. There have been legal advice. We don't but do you need to understand something about mediators. Or ADR. It's just gets out can make it sound very attractive. By emphasizing this savings and money. I mean look every once Garrett at the beginning of the process about money it's like you got one household your running. Now you're gonna have to. With the same money it's telling everyone's income doubles when you need a second how shoulder to paid for. And is felt to make it sound really attractive by emphasizing this savings and cost. Any stroke mediation collaborative law and ADR to be a cost alternative. Turning your keys over to attorneys and having them hash out a settlements. You know what here's what you need to understand. Mediation requires a level playing field in where in which both spouses are fully informed about the rules on the law. You need to understand. Property you have to understand equitable distribution. Child support alimony debt. And you know pushing through mediation. Is kind of going into via come fast lane if you will. But it you don't understand all this and you don't understand your rights. There's a red flag another neon sign. An accomplice at a common strategy is for the spouse was a greater knowledge about finances. To try persuading the other to begin mediation right away. There is a definite advantage. Her mediating early only for the knowledgeable spouse but have you the other one would less information you're a tough spot. Because it's difficult to resolve or even discuss anything subs to an attempt. Before you understand your financial situation or what your options are you need to gather information and get some advice first. You also could have. A spouse. Caught by surprise is just let's just use one attorney you can't do that it's unethical. It's unethical for a lawyer represented to clients with conflicting. Interests. That's one of the first rules of professional responsibility or ethics law school. It's unethical. Because yours boast an attorney as opposed to give their best. To a client. They're under voted this the best. What they have to clients. How can they give their best to each warrant if they know something that is revealed to the other one they're not giving them their best. So that won't work. But he might fight it bounces that let's just work this out ourselves. You know how many times we've seen this are firm. You're sprouts may put pressure on you to train negotiated settlement. Without any help from lawyers mediators or anybody else. I mean after all of your spouse wants to talk about possible terms of the settlement and you haven't even gotten into an attorney or understand that. You you better keep to the simple rules and mind. First. Get information don't give it. And listen don't commit. To sit again. Information if you're going to be talking to here soon to be ex. Or current spouse Europe soon to be acts. If you're going to be talking. I would get information don't give informed get information. And listen don't commit. No it's just have to talk there's a reason you have to hairs and only one mouth. There's no hard and having a conversation as long as it stays theoretical. But never commit to anything that we've got a chance to consider the big picture. If you can avoid it I'm telling you ladies and gentlemen don't ever. Negotiate until you have had a chance to consult with a lawyer. I mean this is something this this thing and did this is big stuff. Your futures on the line. You want the best for your children. You want wanna try and you don't maintain what you've got. So. You know it does also brings up. We think about gets everyone knows. There's a lot of pressure whenever there's contact with the other spouse. Right to talk about that. So you also ought to think about a fuel rules in the back your head but common sense. First of all I would always act and speak. As if you're being audiotape videotape or photograph because you probably are. So anything you say. Can be twisted. Turn around and used against you. Another reason why you wanna sale less. Ever listened more. You want to maintain proper civility. At all times. Including. When you're at home. Or you're away cell phones email text messages. Twitter FaceBook online chats all these things are vulnerable to capture. And it will show up in court you're gonna be embarrassed and you're gonna see a little look from the judge where you say. I screwed up. So you've got to be careful about social media. And if you are having contact with your soon to be acts. And there's your question. Why are you about to have that contact. Right before contact starts. Review and ask yourself. What what am I gonna have contact. You know picking upper turning children all right calling it information at the other parent needs okay. Maybe some other information all right. But unless there's a defined goal. Keep it to a minimum. Remember it's gonna be used against you. And this may sound a little corny but it works rehearse what you had to say or do. Rehearse. You can do with your door closed skillful way Khmer. Us what you have to see you know it'll give you confidence that you're gonna feel like you're in control. And again I want to bring this up if there's any here's trio or threat of any violence or accusations. Don't have contact. Unless players someone or out third. You know a witness somewhere. You don't wanna be nervous you don't wanna be intimidated that's what does that get a do. So think about that we started talking about strategy right. Talked about knowing your judge talked about filing first and when you wanna do it talked about using experts. All strategy. And we got into the subject of what you might hear from you are soon to be acts. You have to think about that strategically prepare for what may be coming. And ask yourself about each communication wireless door and yes and keep it tight. Tight is right. Focused. That should make some sense and we got a caller we. We welcome your calls letters and emails and what your participation to show grant permission for your voice letters or emails to be recorded edited or rebroadcast promotional use no communication is treated as privileged nor does it create an attorney client relationship between you and attorneys Polly pocket PC some calls maybe pre recorded. Grace from Boston thanks for holding Europe talking about divorce her earlier. Oreo good what's your question. I'm that you were talking about lawyers I have a question. Can detect heat spent the night divorce lawyer from my taxes. You don't want a lot of people ask that question now is a general rule no there and unless. Then asked to do with financial advice investment advisor things of the like our. Makes sense neck or how long you been listening to the program. While tiger will likely preclude to the beginning. You know up to get it right. Thanks for listening thank you grant her a ride bike race and you know. I wanna I wanna go. Senior attorney Craig Silverman. And Pollock Claude group. Is really really focus is on this a lot. And I went to him for some input. In any and grace had this to what we talked about. A general rule is simple enough. You can deduct attorneys peacekeeping force if you're trying to collect a taxable income in help to determining collecting or getting a refund of any taxes. In simple terms you make deductions if you need an attorney helped to make money. You have to pay taxes on Horford returned home to attacks would it matter to illegal seizures somehow connected to taxes are taxable income you can deduct. In the divorce case that we come up with regards to tech situation might get during the case. So this is how you do your Expos will likely take deductions for the home mortgage interest child care whether alimony is tax deductible or a modification or contempt case. Trying to get into. Not to pay past two alimony. Generally deduct depreciation and itemize miscellaneous expense are scheduled any of the form 1040 character Turks. Grace I hope that helps Craig fake Q and divorced Susan right around the corner on talking about divorce. Get more talking about divorce like going to our web site. Talking about divorce dot com read our special report to listen to pass jokes or contact us on just about anything. Talking about divorce dot com we'll be right back. Yeah and succeeding W ordeal in 937 HD two little boys of Boston. Talking about divorce continues and here comes divorce news are. All right welcome back. To the program. And we got 33. Great. News pieces. We have some feature element to it. It's all of divorce. Here's the first line like this. So there's a woman named Clara. Her last name is Herrera. Clara Herrera. Gave I'm nineteen year marriage her all. She really focused on making this nineteen year relationship work. But in the end it wasn't gonna work. Sheer sprouts or go down divorce trial but one and ended she didn't want to wallow in sadness. So check this out one day. As this Texas science teacher was sorting out her feelings. She goes up to the attic. And goes to get her wedding down. Funny she thought to herself. Most beautiful dress that she ever owned. Shouldn't we are reminder of failure. She wanted to make it a symbol of her new life. Mel like most brides. Clara Pereira holy war ended down one trying. Since taking it out of the attic. She's courted at dozens of times and turned heads. In unusual places there weren't meaningful war. She's worn a dress Rossi was climbing did build I hate. So what are the ones that she played on which was a little girl. I got to remember she's from Texas. She also wore wedding dress. By an oil well in her father's hometown. The baseball field or should teach your children. She also award to the banquet she opened her first solo checking account it's forty years. And tort lawyer's office decided to divorce papers. I like it's good for her she thought. What do I take pictures in my wedding dress. With all the new people and all these new places that we go. It's like going in in my new life she said. I mean I'd only worn it once. Yeah I decided it was time to get some more use out of that dress. Now let's be honest. Processing billboards away most people do. Probably wasn't this all start up. I need she exercised. Curative therapy. But tell her it wasn't an vector waiting he'll. She knew she was part choose partially an artist. So she got to express yourself and art. And it did hurt just Bahrain just like. The dress better. She said this fits my personality and you know what I say. Good firm. And another piece of news. You know. In many western countries including here in America and Britain divorce lawyers are not allowed to wrappers and a client. In exchange for a share. Up whatever settlement they get. As opposed to charging a fixed fee only explain this. The rules say eight. Lawyers were allowed to get a piece of the action. It would cause nastier divorces. But another example fifteen years ago I guess it was. What I need to do was I wanted to have my support modified. And I asked my attorney. Instead of an hourly rate. One only worked a deal on a percentage based on how much he kept Abbott reduced. He said I can't do and it's against the rules. I mean I was putting my business had auto race at all. Because that had to be aggressively. Over aggressively. Looking for money in my pocket not doing what would be considered just. So again what I said these kinds of arrangements. We're getting up piece of a settlement. All are now up percentage of whatever modification though the rules say it would cause nasty nasty divorces. However. You know the same rules don't apply to those who finance financiers as they say. They're free to find legal battles over marital assets. And a growing number are doing there. There's a company. No big dust blow owns a British firm. You know what they're doing their lending to 15100. Would be divorced seats most women. At 18%. Interest. The loans are intended to cover legal fees. Applicants typically expect to win assets. That are worth three times whatever they bar also would certainly secure. That they didn't have the loans. Many of these. Spouses what do you give up and settle for less. You know. They get a lot of thank you letters from borrowers. And the demand for these current lull us. Has jumped. Since the British government restricted the legal age for DeVore sees. 2013. But it's a way can be done lawyers can't do it. But companies can lend. Now you know a big risk for these divorce funders is that a couple might get their act together and when that happens they're no assets sold. And a borrower may not be able to pay back the lender. I guess that's the risk factor they have to think about. So companies like no lead dust and others. Are gonna wanna find cases that have been grinding through court long enough. To make a reconciliation unlikely. Now rather than lending money some firms invest in divorce cases. Asking for repayment only if a settlement is reached. It's kind of like a non recourse for cash advances. And I'll tell you why since there over the last couple years applications for these kind of advances. Have doubled. And no meat DOS. Plans to open branches in Australia and Canada later this year just a different spin on things and finally. We can put that we can putting humor cap on this war. In divorce news in most fun couple in situations you think about this believe or and we talked about this last week. There's a leave war and there's one who's left there's always a difference between the two but went couple's divorce when I'm Koppel believe gore. Jim good news to the one who's gonna be left. What if your not up to the deed yourself. Earlier soft bunny. You really don't have the guts to do yourself. Check this out don't break up shop will do it for you. There's a site. Whose slogan is let us help you picked. They use email. Snail mail. Text or even snapped yeah that prices from five dollars to eighty dollars to customize naughty or nice options. I mean. It did I I when I read this I was saying I can't make Eminem nice category is an OnStar will be stunned gift. And it meant gift package includes chocolate chip cookies. And a copy of the notebook on Blu-ray. In the Nadia is a mean photo attachments you with your new love Gorton. I mean it's nuts. The break up shop believes everybody deserves to be single. And here's what they say here's where at let's handle the messy work a break up so you can spend more time. You're right. They're after is designed to give you peace of mind and ending the relationship minimizing discomfort and maximizing potential for a long term friendship. Recently single you are now here's where you wanna email folks hello. Bad break up shop dot com. Leading you through the fierce storms of the divorce court room. I lived there when I learned and I'm prepared I love talking about before. Your wife my best friend I don't know what I'd do without your help talking about divorce I wanna talk. About risk factors in divorce for women. Risk factors for women. You know. What you're dealing with parenting plans. If you're in big custody disputes. You've got to think. About the risk. Because the day up automatically giving the children mom. It's not there anymore. But yes. Against fathers. Are certainly certainly gone way to arrow. I know there are ready to say it's 5050. But you know what their risk factors women have to think about. Here's the first one. You better cut down or cut out other aspects of your life. That can brings upon your ability to spend time. And maintain the proper contact with your children. You know interestingly over the last few weeks. I've really become somewhat infatuated they'll go away with this series but people vs OJ Simpson. And if you're a member and and if you happen to see it there are poorer were Marcia Clark. The attorney. Her husband went into court her ex husband. To try and change appeared in planning get custody. Because Marge Schott was working late. Eddie was saying as much as she's worked and the kids need apparent. So you know you you really don't wanna schedule many after work meetings or long hours to take you away from your children. And a vial or you know for this first risk factor. Look at every event or meeting. And asked whether it's really necessary to attend. You ought to keep my diary of your schedule. Because if it's ever question you wanna have true evidence you can show the judge. And another one analyst and a little more time on nest. Risk factor for women you know what the second arrest. It's a new boyfriend. And things aren't always fair when it comes to divorce court and said that before if you think things are fair. Get this whole idea of fair out of your mind. But yeah women. Need to use common sense patience. And discretion. A lot more than men do when it comes. They're dealing with. A new boyfriend or sex stirring up caretaker custody today. Can I be asking yourself how is gonna look into court. If it comes out to the kids are talking about you sleeping with your boyfriend. To question their mothers often wonder. And after attorneys. It's the questioner asked because every aspect of your life becomes potential ammunition for your husband and his attorney. One custody becomes an issue. You may feel sexually insecure after the breakup of your marriage. Could miss having a physical relationship I understand it. But you might need some reassurance that matter still attracted to you. And there's no problem would any of these feelings. They can become problematic. If acted upon in a way that the court could disapprove. Listen there's no question mothers get hit a lot shorter than dads do want overnight visitors but just do. But if you're gonna have a new partner sleep over. Save it for when the children are out of the house. And no longer the relationship with your new boyfriend. Actually the more accepting accord is likely to beat but judges should look at anything. Like Matt. And even look favorably. If you have a succession of male roommates. Certainly you don't want a parade going through the house. Not when you have children around what example is that showing the children. And there's some questions that you ought to ask yourself because I promise your husband's lawyer will. You wanna ask yourself how well you get separated. You risk judgment of the court. If you jump into bed with any guy. Listen again. You risk the judgment of the court. If you're jumping into bed we'll just any got but particularly if you start sleep at around com immediately after you separate. Here here's hear your ex husband or soon to be ex husband. Could call or or his attorney. You call your conduct it can be viewed as impulsive reckless irresponsible. Especially. If it's done when we kid around. You don't have to share what other people. And you should also ask yourself how long you know this man. You know. Judges don't have a law. That every judge is gonna be different than their male judges and their female judges. And their opposite sex judges and their same sex judges. You don't. Do you didn't want somebody lets say six months I certainly would consider that respect format up tarring. Some may say that you shouldn't be entered into your legally divorced but you know what there no standard rules. You'll also want to ask yourself for your ex husband is sleeping with someone joke if the answer is yes is it when the children are around. You get a bad time or at some point the finger at you you know what you can always turn the tables on him. Charging he's creating an on the environment for the children you know we don't wanna make too much of this hole and saying. Standards are a little higher when it comes to women. And it's a risk factor. So don't assume. I you're in the fast lane or its smooth sailing when it comes to parenting and custody. You should also ask yourself how old are your children. Because sexuality around younger kids. And there are you know they can be confused about what's goal line. And if you are adolescents or already obsessed with sex themselves. You could this could be viewed negatively by the court and not proper behavior. What a live in boyfriend. Is that gonna hurt your chances. Well let me tell ya on until it's done now's not the time. Why did you decide to do it anyway make sure that relationship long term. And make sure that your boyfriend's behavior isn't beyond reproach. In engagement ring on your finger certainly wouldn't hurt shows commitment. She shows stability. But these are some of the things that you need to be thinking about. If your boyfriend's responsible decent and caring towards children. Certainly in this wall prejudice to judge. But you don't think about discretion. Just because you're separated doesn't give you the right to live a somewhat remember. Remember you know whatever it is it's all about the best interest of the child. To reach or win during the week column that area code 7817084527. The number again 7817084527. We did you wait for updates and get traffic and weather whenever. On the WRK a lap. Welcome back to talk about divorce. And we have. Another subject I wanna get too but before and I wanna wish you the best. Of Good Friday and Easter next weekend. We're gonna still be here hope you join just. Think children adjust to divorce that's really handling the. Our children and of course segment starts right now on talking about divorce you know we get questions what Obama is. Why have custody and parenting cases become so ugly. You really have to be that way I asked attorney Eric merger. What are the most contentious issues in child custody case is is how both parents want to win custody this trap actually a triple track. In my experience the need to wind capacity has went three root causes first plane old spike to second. Being the principal parents may actually turnout to be a huge financial advantage and number three possession of the children are used like football Marx field position in the game of good parent bat path. It's hard to imagine any circumstances under which got custody battle is good for child in fact the consensus used both in the courts and by child therapists alike is that the interest of children are best served. When they have frequent ongoing and substantial contact with both parents. So how can you avoid being sucked into an almost always destructive custody battle over your children. Are six ideas number one. Put your child with a should be first number two search in big bold capital letters search for positive influences the other parent can provide for your children. Number three choose not to be angry remember a kind word terms the way anger number four be quick to agree be willing to try new ideas they may not always work. But promoting cooperation will or sinned against unnecessary friction and contention number five. Do your very best to make financial matters like child support irrelevant they should not even be considered until after pending plans are finalized in following numbers six realize custody battles are perhaps the most extensive and heartbreaking enterprises that average people ever find themselves involved where they're to be undertaken only it's truly a last resort. If listeners have any questions they are certainly welcome to give me a call at 504852020. Let's get debts off. Episode of talking about divorce thanks for sharing your weekend without next weekend. It's about the chronology. Join us talking about divorce. You just heard another episode of talking about divorce one of the most trusted and distinguished sources of in depth insight and analysis on the issues relating to Massachusetts divorce and family law. Talking about divorce is produced by Paula blog group PC join us next weekend for another show and until then remember the divorce family because of broken family. But the family staying in a bad marriage kids.